Yearning

Yearning...“...well-being is not in isolation but relation.”  (Julian of Norwich)That, I believe is my yearning. I long for connection. I believe that’s why I minister, provide chaplaincy. It is an opportunity to join with others in their most vulnerable moments where we both open ourselves to each other. 

It’s not always that way, though. There are those who are so isolated they can only find solace in the determination that they are completely all that is necessary. They cannot allow me to enter their pain with them and be a part of it with them. 

I understand this desire may stem from my own personal life’s lack of relation with some of those I love. (Olsen)  I know that if I am to be a part of another’s joy and pain, I must recognize my own. I must not allow the isolation within me prevent my recognition of another’s, or my ability to be open to the movement of the Spirit between us. 

Living with lack of connection with ones I love seems to be the seed of my own perceived isolation. I have yearned so long for an honest, mutual connection. So long, it seems, that I no longer feel the yearning. Just sadness. Grief. At times, defeat. 

How do I allow the true connections I do have fill that unfulfilled yearning?