Figuring it out

A coil and ring puzzle was passed on to me for my attempt at solving it. As I looked at it, I knew it could not be solved in its current state. Something had to change. As I pondered the possibilities, I realized there was only one and it required a slight bit of force. I hesitated...do I exert the force and risk damaging something that did not belong to me? Though it was only a couple of pieces of heavy wire, it brought memories of a long lost father to the owner. Did I want to risk causing irreparable harm? Encouraged by a trusted smile and wink, I did. I took the risk and though it initially caused me some confusion, with more encouragement, I solved the puzzle.

A problem.
A needed change.
Hesitation. Concerns about what if.
Encouragement.
Confusion.
Encouragement.
Success.

Hmmmmm.

Now that's a lot of work

"K, I need a place to hang my work clothes." - easy
"Mom, I need a curtain for my bathroom." - easy
"Mom, I need a tablecloth." - easy
"Karen, I need some more medicine." - easy
"We need someone to provide a program for the Women's meeting." - easy
" I need you to work up the order of worship." - easy
" We need some new Sunday School curriculum." - easy

"We need a community where we can share questions, learn together, support one another, serve together...where we can be the church." - now that's not so easy

It is so easy to serve others when the thing needed is something I can just give or do. Helping others to work toward something can be much harder. Especially when they expect it to be just as easy.

Soulshine...

When you can't find the light,
That got you through the cloudy days,
When the stars ain't shinin' bright,
You feel like you've lost you're way,

When those candle lights of home,
Burn so very far away,
Well you got to let your soul shine,
Just like my daddy used to say.

[Chorus] He used to say soulshine,
It's better than sunshine,
It's better than moonshine,
Damn sure better than rain.

Hey now people don't mind,
We all get this way sometime,
Got to let your soul shine, shine till the break of day.
I grew up thinkin' that I had it made,
Gonna make it on my own.

Life can take the strongest man,
Make him feel so alone.
Now and then I feel a cold wind,
Blowin' through my achin' bones,
I think back to what my daddy said,
He said "Boy, in the darkness before the dawn:"

[Chorus] Let your soul shine,
It's better than sunshine,
It's better than moonshine,
Damn sure better than rain.

Yeah now people don't mind,
We all get this way sometimes,
Gotta let your soul shine, shine till the break of day.

Sometimes a man can feel this emptiness,
Like a woman has robbed him of his very soul.
A woman too, God knows, she can feel like this.
And when your world seems cold, you got to let your spirit take control.

[Chorus] Let your soul shine,
It's better than sunshine,
It's better than moonshine,
Damn sure better than rain.

Lord now people don't mind,
We all get this way sometimes,
Gotta let your soul shine, shine till the break of day.

Oh, it's better than sunshine,
It's better than moonshine,
Damn sure better than rain.
Yeah now people don't mind,
We all get this way sometimes,
Gotta let your soul shine, shine till the break of day.

The Allman Brothers

An evening at the Kidd's

"I really think that if I had stopped at those Methodist learnings when I was 8, I would be much better off."

"Would you like to go pick blueberries with us early in the morning?"
(answer...sarcastically) "Of course...that's my favorite time of day."

Story..."The boys asked one evening, "Have you ever wished you had had an affair?" He looked at them and said, "Well your mother and I discussed it, then, she told me that if I ever did, she would kill me." And those boys believed him! They believe everythig he tells them! Me who catches bugs in the house and takes them outside! The one who takes in every stray cat she finds! They think I would really kill their father!"

Drunken despondant 25 yr old sailor..."Besides fixing your fence that I drove through, nothing else matters...I don't matter."
Walter's response..."You do matter."

"...do you believe that God called you to Cloverdale?"...............Yes.

My eyes see, my heart swells, my mind wonders

Today's Song...

Every night I say a prayer in the hope that there's a heaven
And every day I'm more confused as the saints turn into sinners
All the heroes and legends I knew as a child have fallen to idols of clay
And I feel this empty place inside so afraid that I've lost my faith

Show me the way, show me the way
Take me tonight to the river
And wash my illusions away
Show me the way

And as I slowly drift to sleep, for a moment dreams are sacred
I close my eyes and know there's peace in a world so filled with hatred
That I wake up each morning and turn on the news to find we've so far to go
And I keep on hoping for a sign, so afraid that I just won't know

Show me the way,
Show me the way
Take me tonight to the mountain
And wash my confusion away
And if I feel light, should I believe
Tell me how will I know

Show me the way, show me the way
Take me tonight to the river
And wash my illusions away
Show me the way, show me the way

Give me the strength and the courage
To believe that I'll get there someday
Show me the way

Every night I say a prayer
In the hope that there's a heaven...

(Styx - Dennis DeYoung)

Reframing

I'm thinking about this word a lot lately. Mainly because we discussed it in my last Bethany class in connection with leadership, power, understanding situations, WIGIAT (Where is God in all this?), "What is really happening?," "Where do I come into the picture?"

I thought my short-term employment record may have come to a halt, but now, I'm not sure. As I reframe the past, I am now having to consider reframing the present.

So, what will the decision be...an alltogether new frame or one that's been used before - one that probably doesn't fit the new picture?

Do, Do, Do, Lookin' Out My Back Door

2 weeks...I thought that wouldn't be so bad...I could handle that...especially with a great housemate like Jen! Then...no sleep for 4 nights because I was so in tune with my pregnant friend across the hall who was so uncomfortable...spending an afternoon in the doctor's office with her...getting up at 4am to take her to the airport so she could go home...then...an entire week alone. Homesickness set in. I was ready to come home.

Then...the classmate from Rwanda speaks of his travels home after 3 years at Bethany. The new friend from Nigeria speaks of beginning his 3 years away from home. I feel guilty.

Then...the familiar mountains of Virginia come into view, the New River catches my eye, signs of Hokies begin to surface, the home Rob and I built together, Rob, the blooming Mountain Laurel, lilies and Morning Primrose in my back yard, my bed! my pillow! Cloverdale Church of the Brethren, "Welcome home!" "We missed you!" "So glad you're back!" "I hope it was a great class!" "Do you have all the answers now?"

I still feel a little bad that I could only take 2 weeks when others give up years, but still...I am ready to be home.

Eva Grace Stultz

Welcome little one.

Instruments

The instrument sits, silent

The keys untouched

The pedals still

The mechanisms created within

Meant to produce

Cannot do so alone

The master's touch

Soft and easy

Put all into use

The once silent instrument

Now brings sounds of beauty

Simple yet soothing

Those who hear

Are lulled by the sound

And the instrument

Is brought to life

"he will be an instrument for noble purposes,

made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work."

2 Timothy 2:21

Let the sun illuminate the words that you cannot find...

After several various failed attempts, I have decided that there are just some images that are not meant to be photographic...instead, they are to be experienced, enjoyed ...lived.

I do wish I could share the one I am living right now.

Sitting at my dining room table, surrounded by Granny Etta's chairs, china hutch filled with her dishes, Buck and Papaw's watches, Daddy's compass and Case knife, Mommy Belcher's and Granny Shaver's glassware;

the hutch that Max made filled with more memorabilia, including the miniature framed drawing Leah did of our last house and a jar full of marbles;

the photograph of my girls sitting side by side overlooking the fog covered Pacific Ocean;

the morning sun shining through the tall trees, casting long narrow shadows on the spring green grass;

shining through the tall windows upon peace plants received at Daddy's and Mommy Belcher's funerals;

the sound of birds sharing their songs;

the squirrels scampering about;

the buds on the dogwood tree almost ready to burst open and the redbud's purple hue;

the quiet of the house;

the peace it all brings to me.

Today's Song

thanks to B...

you think you`ll find some mountains in western colorado
fifty weeks of snowy peaks is where you`re gonna be
but babe the rocky mountains are gradually eroding
the hills of coors are nothing more than blue ridge wannabes

a turkey on it`s belly
a chicken on it`s back
anyway you look at it you`ll find her on the map
she revels in the seasons
shakes hands with the north
hugs the land of dixie while dancing on the porch

you think that autumns in new england
are the greatest of them all
but give me sweet virginia for the fireworks of fall
the prettiest october in all the fifty states
just drive up to the skyline park the car and wait

so grow up colorado
excuse me tennessee
if you don`t mind, north caroline
here`s where i want to be

(chorus)
when you`re talking home you mean the old dominion
just southeast of heaven to the surf and the hills
she`s the best of thirteen sisters
and thirty seven more
sweet sweet virginia always keeps an open door

they`re fiddlin` in galax
pickin` up in floyd
and in the land of patsy cline
they`re songs you can`t avoid

when you`re walking back after midnight
i`ll fall to pieces, too
i`m crazy back in baby`s arms with sweet dreams of you

they`re sailing down in norfolk
skiing up in bryce
climbing up the devil`s stairs against the ranger`s advice

they`re harvesting in loudoun to shenandoah winds
and in the land near washington they`re rooting for the `skins
fight for old d.c.

so grow up colorado
excuse me tennesse
if you don`t mind, north caroline
here`s where i want to be

(chorus)
pack up your impala
and make your move out west
past the blue ridge mountains you`ll find you passed the best
and when your dreams have ended
where mountains are concerned
me and sweet virginia will await for your return

(Eddie from Ohio)

Today's Song

http://youtube.com/watch?v=AratTMGrHaQ

Ill-matched threads

She who reconciles the ill-matched threads of her life,

and weaves them gratefully into a single cloth -

it's she who drives the loudmouths from the hall

and clears it for a different celebration

where the one guest is you.

In the softness of evening it's you she receives.

You are the partner of her loneliness,

the unspeaking center of her monologues,

With each disclosure you encompass more

and she stretches beyond what limits her,

to hold you

(Rilke)

passive activism

california sunshine, rocky shores with crashing waves, puffs of air and water from whale blow holes, women who love God and are attempting to serve God here in this place, knowing there are others who are in a love/hate relationship with the church, open windows, hearing questions, pondering

A good day off

(thanks to Jen and Mary for the pix)

clean sheets, new toothbrushes, clearing space, time with the great kidlets (Eric, Alec, Annika & Rebekka), finishing a shawl, California dreamin', hershey's peppermint kisses, peas and carrots, watching paperwhites and amaryllis grow and bloom, im-ing with JA who is far, far away, feeling like I should get a smiley sticker on my paper, sounding healthy, taking time to breathe

Between a rock and a hard place?

I read somewhere that what you do on New Year's Day is what you will end up doing all year long. Hmmm...

Rob, B and I decided to begin the year with a hike. We let B choose. She chose to hike to a place called "Devil's Marbleyard, described on Roanoke.com as having a "Gottasee factor" of 3.5 (0 - 4) and a "Gottabreathe factor" of 2.5 (0 - 4). Did we make a mistake letting her choose?

With Mannheim Steamroller providing the background music, the sun shone warm through the windows, lulling me into a peaceful relaxed state. What a nice day to be out. Ahhhhh. We parked the car at the "well marked lot," crossed a lovely wooden bridge and headed into the wilderness. The trees, the fallen leaves, the cold crisp air, the sunshine, the company. Ahhhhh.

It didn't take too long, however, before my "ahhhh's" became "ugh's." The trail was rocky. The rocks were covered with leaves. The leaves were wet. 3 water crossings - again, with wet leaf-covered rocks. After maybe a mile, we pass a young woman who responds to our "how much further?" with, "Oh, maybe a half a mile...and it gets steeper."

We finally reach our destination. A huge field of boulders - really BIG boulders. It reminds me of watching a child play with a toy dump truck. Fill 'er up, then dump it out. Except this was some dump truck! Rob's first comment was, "We are NOT going to climb on those!" Yeah, right. Up B goes. We sat there and ate our lunch with the view of those amazing boulders before us and the sound of melting icicles around us. Awesome.

For some, it would not have been a difficult trek at all. For others, like Rob and myself, it was a little strenuous considering our age, physiques and lack of experience. What it ended up being, at least for me, was proof that I could do it and it felt good afterward. If it is true, that what you do on New Year's day is what you end up doing all year long, then I will be working hard to see some awesome displays of God's handiwork, will indeed see them and will feel fulfilled, accomplished and blessed for the effort.