How do you know when enough is enough? When is it time to go and how do you go when you have responsibility? Do you just pick up and leave a church because you don't like what it has become? Because you don't feel there is a place for you? Or rather, a place for what you want to be? Is it selfish and irresponsible to leave for greener pastures instead of working to help the church you're at become what God wants it to be? What is it....if you can't handle what God has given you, why think God would give you more?
And...how do you know if the pull toward certain things is actually a "calling" or your own unconscience, underlying desire for control or attention?
And...why, at 46 years of age, am I going through this? Isn't this something that young people go through when they graduate from High School? College? When lives are going through all kinds of natural changes?
UGH
4 comments:
church is a real drag. ditch it and do something productive for a change with your spare time. most people just use church for petty networking and don't really do anytthing worthwhile for their local communities anyway. you're probably experiencing these feelings because at 46 you're subconsciously discovering what many others (including myself) have eventually realized, that going to church is kinda dumb.
next sunday instead of wasting time at church DO something. spend time with your family doing something fun. become directly active helping people in need in your town. your time is more valuable than opening up your checkbook. and you don't need a church to help serve food to bums or tutor underpriveledged kids math or reading.
right?
I have tried to come up with a very theological response. I am not, however, a theologian, so all I can say is this:
You are right that the church can be a drag. You are right that some people use church for networking. You are right that my time is more valuable than opening my checkbook and you are right that I don't need a church to help serve food to those in need or to tutor kids in math or reading.
You are incorrect, however, in saying that at 46 I am discovering that going to church is kinda dumb. If anything, at 46, I have come to realize just how important going to church is to me. At 46 years of age, I have been accepted by my church just as I am. I have not been made to feel unworthy and unacceptable. I have been accepted and loved - warts and all. I have been cared for. During times when I knew that I could not handle things on my own, my church family was there praying for me, asking about me, hugging me, doing little things that needed to be done when I couldn't. I have been encouraged and supported. In my questioning what it is I am supposed to be doing, where I am supposed to be, my church family has encouraged me to keep looking. They have given me opportunities to serve within my congregation, the wider church and the community. They have encouraged me to study and seek God's will for me.
Through my church family, God has taught me patience, acceptance tolerance. Through my church family, God has taught me what true Christian love is. My church family has helped me create a closer relationship with God.
My original question has nothing to do with whether or not I continue my association with the church. My question has everything to do with how and when do I leave my current congregation to do the work God has called me to do. It has everything to do with the fact that I am indeed 46 years old and God is calling me to make changes that involve moving on, moving away from this loving church family he has given me. He is calling me to leave "home" if you will.
I am sorry that you have not found church to be what you wanted it to be, for it has been everything I wanted it to be and more.
On the high ridges of the Blue Ridge mountains, there are wildflowers that grow and bloom. Most of them are never seen by human eyes...is their beauty wasted?..... They bloom were they are planted--- for the glory of God alone.
Are we any different? Now, I'm not suggesting that we shouldn't be listening for God's voice, but till we are picked, we can bloom were we are planted...
There is no question as to the value of loving where you are and doing all that you can do while you are there - "blooming where you are planted." The problem comes when you know that it is time to move on. When you feel God's calling you to other places. When you feel that you have gone from that "fleging time" into "fledging time" as our choir sang about a couple of weeks ago.
How to actually accept that that time has come to leave the "nest" so to speak and go. How to leave those who have helped you come to just this place.
Yes, there are wildflowers blooming, but at some time, they must let the wind carry away their seed so as to beautify other lands.
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