Thursday, March 01, 2007
"set your seal upon my heart and live in me"
"honor and cherish what you have learned, but keep before you the questions..."
Jonathan Shively said this to my TRIM orientation group as confirmation that what we have experienced is an important part of who we are and what we are to become; caution to not consider education/knowledge the answer; encouragement to always seek that which we cannot see.
In considering his words, I have realized that they hold true for me as one who is seeking knowledge to assist me in whatever ministry God puts me in rather late in my life. They are also true for those who are much younger, are completing their formal educations and are also seeking their ministry in God's world.
Beth puzzled over her spending time in school instead of being out there - getting her hands dirty - actually serving and doing something. I puzzle over entering the world of academia and leaving some of the doing behind. I supposed that if we saw time through God's eyes instead of our own, perhaps we could make sense of it all. Since we can't, we will just have to be thankful for and listen to those Jonathans sent to remind us.
Jonathan Shively said this to my TRIM orientation group as confirmation that what we have experienced is an important part of who we are and what we are to become; caution to not consider education/knowledge the answer; encouragement to always seek that which we cannot see.
In considering his words, I have realized that they hold true for me as one who is seeking knowledge to assist me in whatever ministry God puts me in rather late in my life. They are also true for those who are much younger, are completing their formal educations and are also seeking their ministry in God's world.
Beth puzzled over her spending time in school instead of being out there - getting her hands dirty - actually serving and doing something. I puzzle over entering the world of academia and leaving some of the doing behind. I supposed that if we saw time through God's eyes instead of our own, perhaps we could make sense of it all. Since we can't, we will just have to be thankful for and listen to those Jonathans sent to remind us.
Monday, February 26, 2007
In the morning when I rise
having someone fix breakfast, snow on trees, the sound of geese
seasoned veterans sharing, old friends encouraging, new friends confirming
prayer, song, silence
loud obnoxious laughter and sincere raw emotion
Take oh take me as I am
Summon out who I shall be
Set your seal upon my heart
And live in me
seasoned veterans sharing, old friends encouraging, new friends confirming
prayer, song, silence
loud obnoxious laughter and sincere raw emotion
Take oh take me as I am
Summon out who I shall be
Set your seal upon my heart
And live in me
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Along life's narrow way
Tuesday
smiling retirees popping in my office to say "hello," getting some of the clutter put away, finding what I am looking for, getting jobs done....and the quiet, relaxed space in which to do it all
smiling retirees popping in my office to say "hello," getting some of the clutter put away, finding what I am looking for, getting jobs done....and the quiet, relaxed space in which to do it all
Friday, February 16, 2007
Your family has grown!!!
21 people gathered round the table at The Homeplace, Mike D's magic tricks, Sam and vanilla ice cream, embarrassing Katie D with our version of "Happy Birthday"
Nothing but blue skies
coffee and crochet, silence
I do enjoy some silence now. I also enjoy being alone sometimes. Will I always be so content with those things?
I do enjoy some silence now. I also enjoy being alone sometimes. Will I always be so content with those things?
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Blue skies smiling at me
Willie Nelson valentine cards, Michael R's unbridled excitement over bread making, new crochet stitches, coconut cream pie
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
baby it's cold out there
the wonderful gift of communication technology that actually works and allows me to stay in touch with my girls, naps on the couch, rob's spontaneous eruption in celebration at a Hokie basketball win
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Let your love shine on us
knowing when I need help, clean empty space, hugging B when she comes in, house full of family
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Peace
newly finished floors, being inside when the wind is blowing snow outside, complete prayer shawls, new blankets
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
He walks with me and talks with me
the way the sky looks when it is clear and cold, hearing Leah's voice on the phone, finishing a written assignment
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Make me a vessel of your peace
faux Zorbo eggs, surprise gifts, hearing passion in the pastor's sermon, Sue's guitar accompaniment, having Sam and Mary Frances back
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Thanks for the Christmas gift Rob...
Camp Bethel, good salad, cookie dough brownies, seeing Little Big Town, Sugarland and Frank Beamer all in the same room
"OOOOH, yeah, the K hook." "You should try the H!"
being prepared early, lobster and REAL butter, learning how to really read again, 20 minute dozing, crocheted inspiration, friends who ask about my girls, not having to clean up
Friday, February 02, 2007
Whatz up?
I find that when I don't put entries on my blog, it is mainly because I don't have anything positive to write. This is totally against my reasoning for starting the thing to begin with. Hopefully I can do better.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
"...they just go stupid!"
Responsibility, employment, stability...all wonderful and necessary things in my life. However, the therapy provided by releasing yourself to riotous hilarity with friends is irreplaceable.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
"He's not right"
...Diana's verbal observation of John Webster as the only participant in the pastor's children's story time.
Getting a congregation to move from "their pews" in the back to the very front.
Redeemed! Oh, the bliss of this glorious thought, my sin - not in part, but the whole - is nailed to his cross, and I bear it no more, praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
Lunch with Charlie and Diana Tuck.
Getting the pile of ironing and sewing down to a manageable size.
Banana pudding pie.
Getting a congregation to move from "their pews" in the back to the very front.
Redeemed! Oh, the bliss of this glorious thought, my sin - not in part, but the whole - is nailed to his cross, and I bear it no more, praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
Lunch with Charlie and Diana Tuck.
Getting the pile of ironing and sewing down to a manageable size.
Banana pudding pie.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Obladi, Oblada, life goes on...
Annika Elizabeth Larson born 8:18 am today.
Leah getting settled in Quito.
Eric and Alec being their amazing little selves.
Dana Beth enjoying her little cousins.
Time to breathe.
And the day isn't over yet.
Leah getting settled in Quito.
Eric and Alec being their amazing little selves.
Dana Beth enjoying her little cousins.
Time to breathe.
And the day isn't over yet.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Gotcha
"Lord, he's going to drive me up a bloomin' wall."
"At least you will have something to hang on to."
"At least you will have something to hang on to."
Monday, January 08, 2007
God is in heaven....
Leah is in Quito, Ecuador safe and sound. B is here till next week. Several shawls have been mailed. My stomach isn't quite so rebellious today.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
The party is over, but the spirit remains
It has been a while, I know. But, well, it has been a holiday...in a lot of ways.
Both of my girls home.
Several facinating young adults actually wanting to be here in our home.
Christmas Eve with the Belcher clan - 3 wonderful little boys!!
Christmas Day with the Cassell crew - Bobby home from the hospital and Christmas past stories.
A gift of pottery painting with my girls.
Bowl game trip to the ATL.
I know that Christmas is more than all the trappings we have put on it, but I am thankful for all God seems to bring into our lives despite them all.
Both of my girls home.
Several facinating young adults actually wanting to be here in our home.
Christmas Eve with the Belcher clan - 3 wonderful little boys!!
Christmas Day with the Cassell crew - Bobby home from the hospital and Christmas past stories.
A gift of pottery painting with my girls.
Bowl game trip to the ATL.
I know that Christmas is more than all the trappings we have put on it, but I am thankful for all God seems to bring into our lives despite them all.
Monday, December 18, 2006
Wipeout
Staying on the topic of time...
Our church went Christmas Carolling last night. I was able to go see some folks I haven't seen in a very long time (something that I admit is completely my own fault and should NOT be!) One very young-at-heart lady who rode along with me talked about finding it difficult to believe that some of our senior members at church were actually as old as they are - in years that is. Then she realized that if she were only honest with herself about her own age, then it should not be so difficult to comprehend others' ages. If Mr and Mrs were her Junior High advisors, then they had to have been at least 20 years older than herself, so that should make them around.....
Time. It carries us along like a tidal wave and half the time we don't even realize it. Here we are in the midst of this racing rush and we are so focused on...well, something...that we don't even notice that...
Our church went Christmas Carolling last night. I was able to go see some folks I haven't seen in a very long time (something that I admit is completely my own fault and should NOT be!) One very young-at-heart lady who rode along with me talked about finding it difficult to believe that some of our senior members at church were actually as old as they are - in years that is. Then she realized that if she were only honest with herself about her own age, then it should not be so difficult to comprehend others' ages. If Mr and Mrs were her Junior High advisors, then they had to have been at least 20 years older than herself, so that should make them around.....
Time. It carries us along like a tidal wave and half the time we don't even realize it. Here we are in the midst of this racing rush and we are so focused on...well, something...that we don't even notice that...
- our children have grown into adulthood
- those we once depended upon to help carry the load cannot carry as much any longer
- those we love feel abandoned because life has changed their routines for them and left them behind while ours continue and even become more complicated
- we have changed, maybe in small ways that really don't matter to anyone but ourselves, and sometimes in very big ways that make a difference to many
The list could go on and on, I supposed. Maybe I have just been made aware of my own age and how much time has passed without my being aware and the time that I possibly could have ahead of me. I think, though, that I need to try to become more aware of the wave that I am riding, take a look at the life that is riding along with me. I need to try to keep the ones that are pushed ahead and the ones that get pushed backward in my sight and within the sound of my voice and the ones that get pulled under, I need to try to hold their hand for as long as I can. I need to learn how to swim, much better than I do now - for my own sake and for those around me, so I can help them when needed and so I don't drag them down.
Friday, December 15, 2006
"Where has the time gone?...
...It wasn't that long ago when we had 4 year-olds." Rob's question caused memories to flood my mind and heart. It doesn't seem that long ago. Not at all. When you look back on it, time seems to have flown by.
This song was sung at our wedding. I liked it then, but now that I am older, the words mean more, so much more. And so does time.
If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that Id like to do
Is to save every day
Till eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you
If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
Id save every day like a treasure and then,
Again, I would spend them with you
But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
Ive looked around enough to know
That youre the one I want to go
Through time with
If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how they were answered by you
But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
Ive looked around enough to know
That youre the one I want to go
Through time with
This song was sung at our wedding. I liked it then, but now that I am older, the words mean more, so much more. And so does time.
If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that Id like to do
Is to save every day
Till eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you
If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
Id save every day like a treasure and then,
Again, I would spend them with you
But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
Ive looked around enough to know
That youre the one I want to go
Through time with
If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how they were answered by you
But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
Ive looked around enough to know
That youre the one I want to go
Through time with
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Just breathe...
"You can be anything you want to be!"
"Be all you can be!"
"Just be yourself."
Sometimes it is hard to figure out what it means to "be." Those are the times I have to tell myself to "just breathe."
"Be all you can be!"
"Just be yourself."
Sometimes it is hard to figure out what it means to "be." Those are the times I have to tell myself to "just breathe."
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Monday, November 20, 2006
Pleeeeeeaaaaaase....
When 80% of a sermon is composed of other people's stories, there is really no "meat" - it is all "leftovers."
Monday, November 13, 2006
Let the little ones come
B told me of seeing Jewish children rush in during the service and more or less take over - one yelling "Abba!" others climbing on the furniture. I wondered at the time how First Church would react to such a scene. Yesterday, we had 5 boys ranging from 8 months to, oh, maybe 12 or 13 at church. They didn't rush in and do any climbing, but Ethan and Zeb sang, Jonas gave commentary to the service and our 2 visiting young men decided to help the ushers take up the offering. It was great!
Also from yesterday....
Dava's message was on sacrifice. She basically spoke of the usual things - time, talents and money. Listening to her, however, my mind kept going back to a discussion in Sunday School. It was said that one thing that seperates Christianity from other faith practices is God's grace to us and the fact that we are to reflect that grace to others. Another statement was how today, the word "christian" brought about animosity, confusion and pain with many people. A survey conducted several years ago, showed that when asked what they thought of when they heard the word "christian," practically no one questioned said "grace."
Dava mentioned in her sermon that it is questionable whether anything any of us do in the name of service for God could be called "sacrifice." I agree. The more I sat there and listened, the more I realized that we do give of our time, talents and money...but how often do we reflect the grace that God has so lovingly given us?
Time, talents and money...same 'ole same 'ole. The same ole same 'ole just isn't good enough.
Also from yesterday....
Dava's message was on sacrifice. She basically spoke of the usual things - time, talents and money. Listening to her, however, my mind kept going back to a discussion in Sunday School. It was said that one thing that seperates Christianity from other faith practices is God's grace to us and the fact that we are to reflect that grace to others. Another statement was how today, the word "christian" brought about animosity, confusion and pain with many people. A survey conducted several years ago, showed that when asked what they thought of when they heard the word "christian," practically no one questioned said "grace."
Dava mentioned in her sermon that it is questionable whether anything any of us do in the name of service for God could be called "sacrifice." I agree. The more I sat there and listened, the more I realized that we do give of our time, talents and money...but how often do we reflect the grace that God has so lovingly given us?
Time, talents and money...same 'ole same 'ole. The same ole same 'ole just isn't good enough.
Saturday, November 11, 2006
7 years ago...
...I began a "Three Year Reading Program." I got my certificate today. I am glad I finished, but, I have no clearer idea of what I am supposed to do than when I started - 7 years ago.
"Don't worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will worry about itself."
Keep reminding me Eric.
"Don't worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will worry about itself."
Keep reminding me Eric.
Monday, November 06, 2006
Sad
She interrupts others' conversations with topics out of nowhere.
She brings up a totally different topic when you are speaking to her as if she was never really listening to you in the first place.
It seems like at times, she is in another world.
Then I watch her when she is not a part of what is going on - when she is not a major part of what is going on - and I see that she wants desperately to be a part of this world. She wants to be someone's whole world.
How sad to watch someone who is so sad.
She brings up a totally different topic when you are speaking to her as if she was never really listening to you in the first place.
It seems like at times, she is in another world.
Then I watch her when she is not a part of what is going on - when she is not a major part of what is going on - and I see that she wants desperately to be a part of this world. She wants to be someone's whole world.
How sad to watch someone who is so sad.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
From the mouth of a 4 year-old
Eric and Alec visited me last night. Eric said they weren't Trick or Treating, but Mamaw B said I would treat them anyway. He was right. I did have treats for them. He turned it around though - he treated me. Eric began telling me what he had done in Bible Study and quoted the scriptures he had learned, one of them from Matthew 6:34.
"Do not worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will worry about itself."
It is good to ask questions, to think about things, to work towards something. It is good to consider our actions and strive to seek to glorify God in each and everything we do. It is not good, however, to worry so much that our lives are consumed by the "what if's," the "why's," and the "how's?" - to worry so much about the questions that we forget to do what it is we are supposed to be doing right now.
The disciples had a hard time seeing the "big picture." It seems they kept missing the point of Jesus' teachings time and time again. They had a particular vision of what they wanted him to be and do and when he showed them something different, they were lost. We too keep missing the "big picture." We have a vision in mind of where we should be and what we should be doing and when we don't see that vision coming to life, we get lost. Perhaps we need to look back at what Jesus taught and what Eric reminded me of last night:
"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes." The Message
What is it we are supposed to be doing? I believe we are to be praying for God's help to discern what it is we are to do and the strength to do it (because, it may not be within the realm of our own vision!). I believe we are to take it step by step - one thing at a time - God's time. There are things in our lives right now that are preparing us for work we will do later. We can't "get worked up."
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
"Do not worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will worry about itself."
It is good to ask questions, to think about things, to work towards something. It is good to consider our actions and strive to seek to glorify God in each and everything we do. It is not good, however, to worry so much that our lives are consumed by the "what if's," the "why's," and the "how's?" - to worry so much about the questions that we forget to do what it is we are supposed to be doing right now.
The disciples had a hard time seeing the "big picture." It seems they kept missing the point of Jesus' teachings time and time again. They had a particular vision of what they wanted him to be and do and when he showed them something different, they were lost. We too keep missing the "big picture." We have a vision in mind of where we should be and what we should be doing and when we don't see that vision coming to life, we get lost. Perhaps we need to look back at what Jesus taught and what Eric reminded me of last night:
"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes." The Message
What is it we are supposed to be doing? I believe we are to be praying for God's help to discern what it is we are to do and the strength to do it (because, it may not be within the realm of our own vision!). I believe we are to take it step by step - one thing at a time - God's time. There are things in our lives right now that are preparing us for work we will do later. We can't "get worked up."
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Manicures...
... lunch with the sisters, chocolate cake, books by women preachers from sisters who are not too sure, candles, lotions for pampering, e-mails from young women I admire, e-cards and IPods. All in all, not a shabby birthday.
And still...
For 40 years I shared this day with my Daddy. For 40 years, we blew out candles together, took turns opening gifts and sat grinning sheepishly while family sang "Happy Birthday." 40 years. Not enough.
Happy Birthday, Daddy. I miss you.
And still...
For 40 years I shared this day with my Daddy. For 40 years, we blew out candles together, took turns opening gifts and sat grinning sheepishly while family sang "Happy Birthday." 40 years. Not enough.
Happy Birthday, Daddy. I miss you.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
The safest place on earth...
Larry Crabb wrote a book titled, "The Safest Place on Earth." I have used parts of the book several times for adult and youth presentations. When I speak of the book and it's subject, the church, I often tell a story of a young man who found the church to be just that - the safest place on earth for him.
The young man grew up in "the church," but as he became older, became further and futher distanced from the place, the people and the God he had known as a boy. The pastor of his home church came into the sanctuary one morning to find the young man asleep under one of the pews. Recognizing him, the pastor woke him and asked why he was there. The young man replied that he was in deep trouble, he was desperate, and that church was the only place he knew where he had ever been completely safe.
I thought of Crabb's book today and this story because of something that happened in my church. As I was leaving worship, I heard someone say that a wallet was missing from one of the choir members' purse. Then another. Then another. I stopped and checked my own purse - no wallet. Altogether 5 ladies' wallets had been stolen from purses kept in the bottom of the closet of the choir room during worship. Drivers' licenses, insurance cards, cash, credit cards and in a couple of instances, car keys. All gone.
Many years ago, I had had some video tapes taken from my car during a Wednesday night choir practice. I was absolutely furious. I ranted and raved for many days - if not aloud, in my head and heart. This time is different. I am concerned because the person has my home address and a key to my husband's car. I am slightly agrivated that I will have to go stand in line at the DMV for probably what will be a long time to get a new license. The Driver's License can be replaced, the debit card cancelled, but a car is a different matter. I say I am concerned and that is it. I have been inconvenienced, but I am not furious as before. I don't wish harm to come to the person who brought an act of violence into my church, invaded my privacy and stole my property - like I did before. I realize that we are all safe and all that was taken can be replaced.
We are all safe.
I am not sure all of the other ladies agree with me.
The young man grew up in "the church," but as he became older, became further and futher distanced from the place, the people and the God he had known as a boy. The pastor of his home church came into the sanctuary one morning to find the young man asleep under one of the pews. Recognizing him, the pastor woke him and asked why he was there. The young man replied that he was in deep trouble, he was desperate, and that church was the only place he knew where he had ever been completely safe.
I thought of Crabb's book today and this story because of something that happened in my church. As I was leaving worship, I heard someone say that a wallet was missing from one of the choir members' purse. Then another. Then another. I stopped and checked my own purse - no wallet. Altogether 5 ladies' wallets had been stolen from purses kept in the bottom of the closet of the choir room during worship. Drivers' licenses, insurance cards, cash, credit cards and in a couple of instances, car keys. All gone.
Many years ago, I had had some video tapes taken from my car during a Wednesday night choir practice. I was absolutely furious. I ranted and raved for many days - if not aloud, in my head and heart. This time is different. I am concerned because the person has my home address and a key to my husband's car. I am slightly agrivated that I will have to go stand in line at the DMV for probably what will be a long time to get a new license. The Driver's License can be replaced, the debit card cancelled, but a car is a different matter. I say I am concerned and that is it. I have been inconvenienced, but I am not furious as before. I don't wish harm to come to the person who brought an act of violence into my church, invaded my privacy and stole my property - like I did before. I realize that we are all safe and all that was taken can be replaced.
We are all safe.
I am not sure all of the other ladies agree with me.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Optimism of children
Eric sits at the table eating lunch...peanut butter crackers and apple slices. On his plate remain 3 crackers and several apple slices. He decides to show me how he has mastered math at his young age.
"Tawa, if I eat one cracker, that leaves two. Then, if I eat one cracker, that leaves one. Then, if I eat one cracker, that leaves....apple!"
I pray that my favorite oldest great nephew will always see the glass as being half full!!!
"Tawa, if I eat one cracker, that leaves two. Then, if I eat one cracker, that leaves one. Then, if I eat one cracker, that leaves....apple!"
I pray that my favorite oldest great nephew will always see the glass as being half full!!!
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Oldies
Seeing old friends and catching up on children, grandchildren, parents.
Listening to oldies while driving surrounded by the beauty of autumn.
Listening to oldies while driving surrounded by the beauty of autumn.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Teach your children well...
Violence within...violence without
One school system is teaching the children how to "fight back" should they see someone with a gun in their school. It seems they have a former British military man instructing children how to respond in emergency situations that includes "throwing anything they can get their hands on at the person and charging directly at them."
One opinion of the new training suggested that the methods being taught were those taught to adult military personnel and not applicable to children.
"I would be concerned if this were in my child's school," said another.
I am concerned that this is being taught in any school.
One school system is teaching the children how to "fight back" should they see someone with a gun in their school. It seems they have a former British military man instructing children how to respond in emergency situations that includes "throwing anything they can get their hands on at the person and charging directly at them."
One opinion of the new training suggested that the methods being taught were those taught to adult military personnel and not applicable to children.
"I would be concerned if this were in my child's school," said another.
I am concerned that this is being taught in any school.
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Random
Together - Conversations on being the church...
It's open-ended. There is no goal. The conversation is what it is all about...the important part.
What is the church? The body of Christ...but are we acting like the body of Christ? If not, can we actually say that the church...today's church...is that body?
What is supposed to be and what actually is. Do they ever become one?
Over heard at Camp Bethel: "You can thank Lefty Hoal for that building there." Actually, Lefty didn't build it, but it was built in his memory by people whose lives were altered for the better by Lefty's support, advertisements and hard work at Camp Bethel. So, I guess the man was right. We can thank Lefty Hoal...for the building and so much more.
Young adults, grieving over the death of their 'Nana.'
Beautiful baby boy falling asleep in my arms.
My girls in my house again.
Family coming to dinner.
What is supposed to be and what actually is. Yes, with the grace of God, they do sometimes become one.
It's open-ended. There is no goal. The conversation is what it is all about...the important part.
What is the church? The body of Christ...but are we acting like the body of Christ? If not, can we actually say that the church...today's church...is that body?
What is supposed to be and what actually is. Do they ever become one?
Over heard at Camp Bethel: "You can thank Lefty Hoal for that building there." Actually, Lefty didn't build it, but it was built in his memory by people whose lives were altered for the better by Lefty's support, advertisements and hard work at Camp Bethel. So, I guess the man was right. We can thank Lefty Hoal...for the building and so much more.
Young adults, grieving over the death of their 'Nana.'
Beautiful baby boy falling asleep in my arms.
My girls in my house again.
Family coming to dinner.
What is supposed to be and what actually is. Yes, with the grace of God, they do sometimes become one.
Monday, October 02, 2006
Love feast
The blocks should be turned this way...
That's way too many tables...
No we have never had pitchers of water...
I don't cut meat...
I don't think there is enough...
Well, we only have enough ice...
Don't put cold water in those buckets this time...
She has already gotten what she needed...
Well, they are right there...
That has got to be covered...
Here's my jars, be sure they get filled...
We are here by invitation...
Lord, is it I...
Will you let me be your servant...
Jesus cared about feet...
We...eat many meals...none...like the meal we are about to eat together here...
All who are in love and community with your brothers and sisters, who do truly and earnestly repent of your sins, who humbly put your trust in Christ and desire his help that you may lead a holy life, draw near...
Take, break, eat and live...
Take drink and live...
Blessed be the tie that binds...
First Church
Love feast
Life
That's way too many tables...
No we have never had pitchers of water...
I don't cut meat...
I don't think there is enough...
Well, we only have enough ice...
Don't put cold water in those buckets this time...
She has already gotten what she needed...
Well, they are right there...
That has got to be covered...
Here's my jars, be sure they get filled...
We are here by invitation...
Lord, is it I...
Will you let me be your servant...
Jesus cared about feet...
We...eat many meals...none...like the meal we are about to eat together here...
All who are in love and community with your brothers and sisters, who do truly and earnestly repent of your sins, who humbly put your trust in Christ and desire his help that you may lead a holy life, draw near...
Take, break, eat and live...
Take drink and live...
Blessed be the tie that binds...
First Church
Love feast
Life
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Peaceful living
I sat this morning with my sister discussing how our upbringing has taught us about what we do and do not want to be like. With regret we talk about those we love and how they have not been able to use their experience and knowledge in loving ways rather than preaching and nagging…how our relationships with them have always been full of conflict. We talk about how some people are remembered for their loving, peaceful lives and others for their anger and the strife they bring to everyone around them. Then, I read this in a daily e-mail…
The wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without a trace of partiality or hypocrisy. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace for those who make peace.
- James 3:17-18
Beautiful is the moment in which we understand that we are no more than an instrument of God; we live only as long as God wants us to live; we can do only as much as God makes us able to; we are only as intelligent as God would have us be.
- Archbishop Oscar Romero, from his last homily, March 23, 1980
God speaks and we must listen - or else we too will be remembered not for the peace of God shown through our lives, but for the lack thereof. Someone once told me that I was not called to be effective, but faithful. I pray for all of us who have a difficult time with this concept.
The wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without a trace of partiality or hypocrisy. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace for those who make peace.
- James 3:17-18
Beautiful is the moment in which we understand that we are no more than an instrument of God; we live only as long as God wants us to live; we can do only as much as God makes us able to; we are only as intelligent as God would have us be.
- Archbishop Oscar Romero, from his last homily, March 23, 1980
God speaks and we must listen - or else we too will be remembered not for the peace of God shown through our lives, but for the lack thereof. Someone once told me that I was not called to be effective, but faithful. I pray for all of us who have a difficult time with this concept.
Monday, September 25, 2006
Holy Ground
A friend told me today that he and his wife visited Camp Bethel this past Saturday. After all these years, it was good, he said, to be back on those grounds. He told his wife, "this is indeed holy ground."
It is wonderful that even though our physical world can change so much, the holiness of God remains the same.
It is wonderful that even though our physical world can change so much, the holiness of God remains the same.
Friday, September 22, 2006
Divinity revealed
I sat working on a prayer shawl while also watching a dvd of Dena Pence Frantz's theological study at NOAC 2006. At a certain part of the presentation, Frantz speaks of icons and their place in the history of the church. She says that the group will look at "how the artistic drive to portray the divine presence of God is a spiritual quest." Frantz explains how the artists had to contend with the questions "how is the divine revealed in physical earthly things?" and how can we depict something we may see and yet something that is beyond our capacity to see?
As I sat working on that shawl, I related somewhat to those Bizentine artists. My desire to create the shawl is somewhat of a spiritual quest. I want to bring the presence of God to another through the warmth and comfort of the shawl; to bring the knowledge that they are cared for and loved; to bring to them the hope and peace that is God. I also have found that the presence of God is with me as I create the shawls. I pray that my heart would be right with God before and while I am working; find that I feel a sense of peace within my own being; find my heart filled with compassion and love for the person to whom the shawl may go - whether I know them or not.
My prayer is that these physical earthly bits of yarn would reveal some of the divine to both the receiver and myself and bring about a desire to seek that which is beyond our capacity to see.
As I sat working on that shawl, I related somewhat to those Bizentine artists. My desire to create the shawl is somewhat of a spiritual quest. I want to bring the presence of God to another through the warmth and comfort of the shawl; to bring the knowledge that they are cared for and loved; to bring to them the hope and peace that is God. I also have found that the presence of God is with me as I create the shawls. I pray that my heart would be right with God before and while I am working; find that I feel a sense of peace within my own being; find my heart filled with compassion and love for the person to whom the shawl may go - whether I know them or not.
My prayer is that these physical earthly bits of yarn would reveal some of the divine to both the receiver and myself and bring about a desire to seek that which is beyond our capacity to see.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Unwritten
I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with eyes wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way
NATASHA BEDINGFIELD
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with eyes wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way
NATASHA BEDINGFIELD
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
What?
Choir director - "I don't know what to call that part of the music."
Tenor - "How about "the beginning?"
Sometimes the most obvious things are so far beyond our understanding.
Tenor - "How about "the beginning?"
Sometimes the most obvious things are so far beyond our understanding.
The walk
On this morning 26 years ago, I was waking up to my wedding day. My parent's house was to be filled with family from Kentucky, Ohio and Tennessee. First Church would be filled with friends, family and people I didn't know.
"Love isn't just walking into someone's life...it is walking in the same direction."
On this day 26 years ago, I began a walk with someone I love very much. Sometimes, our steps are not equal in length or speed, but God always seems to bring us back together.
I love you Rob.
"Love isn't just walking into someone's life...it is walking in the same direction."
On this day 26 years ago, I began a walk with someone I love very much. Sometimes, our steps are not equal in length or speed, but God always seems to bring us back together.
I love you Rob.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Making it stick
"We discussed Paul writing to the Corinthians about things that were items of concern at that time and were asked if we were Paul writing to First Church instead of the Corinthians, what would we write about?"
"Did you say, "Get off your butts and do something?"
"No, I said, 'Keep going. You're not done yet."
Not quite as specific as I wanted to be, but then, I'm not sure the people in attendance could handle what I really wanted to say. Paul (Alwine, not biblical) said he felt that Paul (biblical) had to consider who he was writing to. He said that conversation was not just saying stuff, but it was saying things in a way that would stick with the listener. He felt that Paul (biblical) had to consider how people would take what he said and so he had to say it in a way that they would actually understand what he meant and not misunderstand his words because of their background...where they came from. He said he had to do the same thing when he wrote sermons.
Re one of my long-time teachers/mentors/friends:
Conversation. Not just talking, but making it stick.
Sermons. Not just talking, but making it stick.
"Did you say, "Get off your butts and do something?"
"No, I said, 'Keep going. You're not done yet."
Not quite as specific as I wanted to be, but then, I'm not sure the people in attendance could handle what I really wanted to say. Paul (Alwine, not biblical) said he felt that Paul (biblical) had to consider who he was writing to. He said that conversation was not just saying stuff, but it was saying things in a way that would stick with the listener. He felt that Paul (biblical) had to consider how people would take what he said and so he had to say it in a way that they would actually understand what he meant and not misunderstand his words because of their background...where they came from. He said he had to do the same thing when he wrote sermons.
Re one of my long-time teachers/mentors/friends:
Conversation. Not just talking, but making it stick.
Sermons. Not just talking, but making it stick.
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Leah
Twenty years ago today, I waddled around my kitchen in my bathrobe trying to fix supper for Rob and Dana Beth. I grew more and more uncomfortable until I knew I was going into labor with our second child. As I lay on the bed, Rob started making arrangements for his parents to meet us at the hospital to take care of Dana Beth. She asked him, "What's the matter with Mommy?" "She's going to have the baby, " he responded. "She can't!" Dana Beth exclaimed! "She's got to go to the hospital first!"
And go we did to experience the birth of a beautiful little girl with a head full of wild dark hair.
Today, we remember and celebrate that birth and the beautiful young woman with long dark hair that is my Leah.
Happy birthday Lele. I love you.
And go we did to experience the birth of a beautiful little girl with a head full of wild dark hair.
Today, we remember and celebrate that birth and the beautiful young woman with long dark hair that is my Leah.
Happy birthday Lele. I love you.
Friday, September 08, 2006
Little boys
I miss having children in my home. Eric and Alec were here yesterday and we had a great time.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
ice cream and neighbors
short committee meetings where nothing is talked about except the matter at hand, a yard full of little kids, hispanic gentlemen who share my love for coke floats also known as black cows, neighbors who pronounce "Mary" "Murrie" just like me, seeing that when it comes to carrying on a conversation with a one-year old, I've still got it
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Rain, rain...
sitting on the porch watching the rain come down...its a good thing
knowing that some are being evacuated from their homes by it...not
knowing that some are being evacuated from their homes by it...not
Monday, August 28, 2006
Keeping on
"A good woman does not live in fear of the future because of her past. Instead, she understands that her life experiences are merely lessons, meant to bring her closer to self knowledge and unconditional self love. Girl Smile.....YOU KNOW YOU HAVE IT GOING ON! .....So Keep ON Keeping On."
Somehow, friends seem to know what you need to hear and when you need to hear it.
Somehow, friends seem to know what you need to hear and when you need to hear it.
Montezuma
traveling through the misty mountains, picking up on the intensity of emotion in David's voice as he speaks God's word, hugs from Jonas, shy smiles from Zeb, being with Carol Lena, tomato sandwiches, homemade salsa
Sunday was a good day.
Sunday was a good day.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Blinders
Sometimes it is hard to see a thing when you are right in the middle of it. Several times lately, I have seen beams of sunlight bursting through the clouds - very distinct rays of light making their way through the sky. Until yesterday. It was a sunny day as I drove home and I looked up into the sky to see those beams, but there were none. I didn't understand why - after all, it was a bright sunny day! Then, I realized that I felt the warmth of the sun on my body through the car window. I was surrounded by the sunshine! I was right smack dab in the middle of it and didn't recognize it! It made me realize something.
All this time, I had been relating those rays of light to God's presence and grace. Everytime I saw them, it was as if God was saying, "Karen, I am right here."
Just because God's presence and grace are not majestically visible to me does not mean they are not there. If I but look and pay attention, I will find that I am always right smack dab in the middle of them.
All this time, I had been relating those rays of light to God's presence and grace. Everytime I saw them, it was as if God was saying, "Karen, I am right here."
Just because God's presence and grace are not majestically visible to me does not mean they are not there. If I but look and pay attention, I will find that I am always right smack dab in the middle of them.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
My formica bead
My past...
The table sat under a window in the small kitchen at the rear of the house. It had a formica top. Doors from the kitchen opened into the living room and Mother and Daddy's bedroom which I supposed was actually meant to be a dining room. In that living room, Daddy rocked me to sleep and carried me to bed. Mother let me take a nap in her bed with my blanket decorated with chenille stiches. Daddy talked me out of running away from home in my bedroom at the back of the house. I heard the gunshot from the trailer where I stayed sometimes while Mother ran errands. My puppy, Skippy, was hit and killed by teenage boy who lived up the street. All of these memories and more come to mind when I look at my formica bead. They all combine to make me who I am now.
The table sat under a window in the small kitchen at the rear of the house. It had a formica top. Doors from the kitchen opened into the living room and Mother and Daddy's bedroom which I supposed was actually meant to be a dining room. In that living room, Daddy rocked me to sleep and carried me to bed. Mother let me take a nap in her bed with my blanket decorated with chenille stiches. Daddy talked me out of running away from home in my bedroom at the back of the house. I heard the gunshot from the trailer where I stayed sometimes while Mother ran errands. My puppy, Skippy, was hit and killed by teenage boy who lived up the street. All of these memories and more come to mind when I look at my formica bead. They all combine to make me who I am now.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
The Shell
Places where I feel close to God…
“…it’s just you, the sand, sun and ocean” says a friend of time spent at the beach. I would clarify that by adding...my awareness of God in the fragments of previous life that make up the sand, the sense of healing as the heat of the sun warms my bones and the powerful yet soothing ocean tides that are able to toss me about at their will then support me as I float aimlessly.
“…it’s just you, the sand, sun and ocean” says a friend of time spent at the beach. I would clarify that by adding...my awareness of God in the fragments of previous life that make up the sand, the sense of healing as the heat of the sun warms my bones and the powerful yet soothing ocean tides that are able to toss me about at their will then support me as I float aimlessly.
Friday, August 11, 2006
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Monday, August 07, 2006
Misc NYC quotes
“We are the people we’ve been waiting for. The world is waiting so come through the door. There’s lots of room here on the dancing floor. There’s no delaying anymore.” - Ken Medema
"We have great border control here." - John Keller, NYC 2006 Dean
"God almighty, maybe what I need is to give myself away. Small things, great love, that’s how the mountains move.” – Ken Medema
“Why don’t we do what he says? I don’t think he’s going to shut up until we do!” - Ted & Lee
"You being yourself matters. It’s what keeps the community from being lost.” – Glenn Mitchell
“You’ve got to clear up the confusion about what it means to be a Christian.” - Jim Wallis
“Jesus will give you power to change this world,” David Radcliff
“You might be Brethren if......you think one of the Ten Commandments is, you know the words to ‘Move in Our Midst’ whether you want to or not" - Frank Ramirez
“I don’t know how much time I have to become something. None of us do.” - Andy Murray
“God’s got you covered,” Dawn Ottoni Wilhelm
"...and this part signifies when my life goes wacky..." Me
"Is David Radcliff part black?" Emily
"This was life-changing." Katie
"Walk with me." Darron
"We have great border control here." - John Keller, NYC 2006 Dean
"God almighty, maybe what I need is to give myself away. Small things, great love, that’s how the mountains move.” – Ken Medema
“Why don’t we do what he says? I don’t think he’s going to shut up until we do!” - Ted & Lee
"You being yourself matters. It’s what keeps the community from being lost.” – Glenn Mitchell
“You’ve got to clear up the confusion about what it means to be a Christian.” - Jim Wallis
“Jesus will give you power to change this world,” David Radcliff
“You might be Brethren if......you think one of the Ten Commandments is, you know the words to ‘Move in Our Midst’ whether you want to or not" - Frank Ramirez
“I don’t know how much time I have to become something. None of us do.” - Andy Murray
“God’s got you covered,” Dawn Ottoni Wilhelm
"...and this part signifies when my life goes wacky..." Me
"Is David Radcliff part black?" Emily
"This was life-changing." Katie
"Walk with me." Darron
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
NYC
I spent last week in Colorado with over 3000 young people. It is amazing how old a person can feel and at the same time, be energized. I do wish that more members of our congregations knew what actually happens at our denomination's National Youth Conference. I wonder, though, if they did, would it make any difference in the way they do things? Would they not permit their youth to participate? I wonder...
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Unity
"You all are always together." Families - individuals uniting as one.
"I do." Marriages - individuals uniting as one.
The individual is still there - it makes the union what it is.
"I do." Marriages - individuals uniting as one.
The individual is still there - it makes the union what it is.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Sunday, July 09, 2006
"I remember them, but I don't know them now." Jonas Racey Miller about his friends at First Church.
Today brought ....
preaching in a small country church
leading hymns accapella
lunch with a beautiful little girl with a beautiful smile (who also was wearing BIG GIRL PANTS and had to show them to EVERYONE much to her grandmother's chagrin!)
watching rainbow trout in the spring with Jonas
playing drums on the benches with Zeb
having Katie Hannah pose with us for a family picture
oh - and great food!
Today brought ....
preaching in a small country church
leading hymns accapella
lunch with a beautiful little girl with a beautiful smile (who also was wearing BIG GIRL PANTS and had to show them to EVERYONE much to her grandmother's chagrin!)
watching rainbow trout in the spring with Jonas
playing drums on the benches with Zeb
having Katie Hannah pose with us for a family picture
oh - and great food!
Friday, July 07, 2006
Natural Bridge seafood buffet
"These are NOT eatin' britches!" - Pastor Dava of her jeans after eating piles and piles of crab legs.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Cracked pots
"I needed this."
"I wasn't going to come today, but I'm glad I did."
"Some messages push people out to the corners of the sanctuary. This one pulled them in."
"God is with you."
"I knew it was going to be good when you stood up with so much confidence."
Evidently, God does use "cracked pots."
"I wasn't going to come today, but I'm glad I did."
"Some messages push people out to the corners of the sanctuary. This one pulled them in."
"God is with you."
"I knew it was going to be good when you stood up with so much confidence."
Evidently, God does use "cracked pots."
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Sunday, June 18, 2006
I miss my Daddy
having my daughter quoted in Sunday School, playing handbell pieces that I enjoy, Maddy Tuck, Sunday afternoon naps, Leah cooking dinner, celebrating and remembering Father's Day.
Birthdays!
For Saturday:
Quiet Saturday mornings, the Rke Farmer's Market, family birthday dinners, new stories from Lynsey
Quiet Saturday mornings, the Rke Farmer's Market, family birthday dinners, new stories from Lynsey
Friday, June 16, 2006
Solitude, picnics and Leah
Having the office to myself - I get a lot done!, picnic dinner on Mill Mountain, "I'm spending the night at the betting horse place"
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Meese Tracks is my favorite
getting stuff done, finding what I am looking for, feeling satisfied when eating little, moose tracks ice cream, agreeing with columnists in the Roanoke Times, yard work, swirly evening clouds over Blue Ridge mountains seen from my front porch swing
May my example be my lesson
Lord, grant me the wisdom and compassion to know when to stop complaining about my own life and inquire about another's.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
GRITS
Surprisingly - K & W's cheese grits, finding out how to make chocolate eclair be good without set ting overnight , Greek Gypsy friends, front porch swinging with friends, having both of my girls here, "If we believe, then, why are we afraid?"
Having June in my life provided me with a great many gifts. One in particular that I will always appreciate, is that she stood back and allowed me to add the cinnamon to the First Church applebutter.
Having June in my life provided me with a great many gifts. One in particular that I will always appreciate, is that she stood back and allowed me to add the cinnamon to the First Church applebutter.
Life
For Monday...
fresh spring tomatoes, having a house filled with aromas of great food when people come in hungry, Whitney and Amanda, the way a funeral home visitation can turn into a great reunion for friends and family - full of memories, jokes, hugs and laughter, looking at old pictures of old friends, sitting in my living room with Rob, B and Leah - just chatting, Sheila, Debbie, late night/early morning sharing with my friends
fresh spring tomatoes, having a house filled with aromas of great food when people come in hungry, Whitney and Amanda, the way a funeral home visitation can turn into a great reunion for friends and family - full of memories, jokes, hugs and laughter, looking at old pictures of old friends, sitting in my living room with Rob, B and Leah - just chatting, Sheila, Debbie, late night/early morning sharing with my friends
Sunday, June 11, 2006
It's there, I know it is
being a part of a community, remembering, lunch with friends
Trying to find positive things in each day is a good thing, I know. I just have to keep on trying.
Trying to find positive things in each day is a good thing, I know. I just have to keep on trying.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Good bye June
breakfast at Earnie's with The Rob, fresh veggies from the market, knowing that someone I love is no longer sad or hurting, Whitney's fast-paced conversations and Amanda's rolling eyes...and now...Betty Heptinstall's peanut butter pie
Friday, June 09, 2006
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Peanut butter, accents and music
Too tired Wednesday to post, so...for Wednesday:
peanut butter breakfast bars, blt's, teaching people how to say "Pikeville" the correct way, prayer shawls, great bell choir and chancel choir practices, computers and projectors actually working, "Hey K!"
peanut butter breakfast bars, blt's, teaching people how to say "Pikeville" the correct way, prayer shawls, great bell choir and chancel choir practices, computers and projectors actually working, "Hey K!"
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Quiet, breathing and possibilities
quiet days at the office, walking up 6 flights of stairs without passing out, finishing my TRIM application, sitting on my back porch
Purple Cow
I never saw a purple cow
I hope I never see one
But I can tell you this right now:
I'd rather see than be one.
Ah yes, I wrote "The Purple Cow"
I'm sorry now I wrote it
But I can tell you Anyhow
I'll kill you ifyou quote it!
Ogden Nash
I hope I never see one
But I can tell you this right now:
I'd rather see than be one.
Ah yes, I wrote "The Purple Cow"
I'm sorry now I wrote it
But I can tell you Anyhow
I'll kill you ifyou quote it!
Ogden Nash
Monday, June 05, 2006
hugs, dreams and purple cows
hugs from people who care, grins that come from deep within, imagining Lefty singing, "I never saw a purple cow..." to June when she wore a purple dress, Rob transplanting wild daisies into my back yard for me
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Laughter, tears and chocolate
Dava's funny stories, inspirational statements, graduating youth, Sunday afternoon naps, people I respect saying I did good, late, long, leisurly dinners with friends, sharing a chocolate tallcake
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Mountain Music
fresh pineapple; Dolly Parton, Emmylou Harris and Linda Ronstadt singing ballads; putting images to music; Tina Lowe, "I love you enough to get up and hug you Karen, I'm just too lazy."; stare downs with tom turkeys; crushed oreos and cream cheese dipped in white chocolate
Friday, June 02, 2006
Friends, good food and once again, those Blue Ridge Mountains
2 hour lunches with a dear friend, Diana's cole slaw, fresh pineapple, picnics at the Peaks of Otter, mountain reflections in the lake, driving above the clouds, rocking chairs on porches, graceful does and leggy fawns
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Rain, daisies and mountains
windows open while it is raining, being told my body fat percentage isn't so bad after all, left-over burnt hotdogs, daisies outside my window, hazy Blue Ridge Mountains
Guide my feet
ceiling fans, opportunities to learn, doulahs, African American Spirituals, the Gospel Sway and citified white choirs who try to do it
Guide my feet, while I run this race
Guide my feet, while I run this race
Guide my feet, while I run this race
Cause I don't want to run this race in vain.
Guide my feet, while I run this race
Guide my feet, while I run this race
Guide my feet, while I run this race
Cause I don't want to run this race in vain.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Thanks be to God
To take a lead from B, I have decided to try to make note of the positive things from each...well as close as I can...day. I have found myself bombarded daily with negatives and I know that if I don't take time to really look for, appreciate and give thanks for the positives, I will, sooner or later, find myself slipping down to a place I have no desire to go.
Even though it is a day late...for Tuesday, May 30:
clients who say "Thank you" and mean it, quiet office time, sweet tea, June's outstretched hand and smile of recognition, being able to be there for a friend, working with Rob on a project and getting it done, sitting and talking with Leah
Even though it is a day late...for Tuesday, May 30:
clients who say "Thank you" and mean it, quiet office time, sweet tea, June's outstretched hand and smile of recognition, being able to be there for a friend, working with Rob on a project and getting it done, sitting and talking with Leah
Monday, May 22, 2006
Whoa!!!
Note to self: new tri-focals, shoes with heels and pre-existing nausea do not a good combo make.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
If only...
Friday, April 21, 2006
HIGH FLIGHT
Oh, I have slipped the surly bonds of earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silver wings;
Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds - and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of - wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence; hov'ring there,
I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air.
I've topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace
Where never lark, or eagle flew -
And, while with silent lifting mind I've trod
The high untrespassed sancity of space,
Put out my hand and touched the face of God.
--John Gillespie Magee, Jr., 3 Sept., 1941
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Church History
Church History class - trying to cram thousands of years into a few hundred pages and 12 hours of class time. This is Christian Growth Institute. I find myself both appalled and enthralled at the same time when reading of the Fathers, the writers, the Popes, the monks. I wonder at the vague possibility that I can even come close to understanding the scriptures and the teachings of Jesus when those who were so much closer, at least in time, struggled so to get it right.
I read of political powers who controlled the church and the religious leaders who allowed them to. I read of religious leaders who purchased their positions, who encouraged the slaughter of innocents and so-called heretics. Then comes Erasmus.
"Christ desires his philosophy to be spread as widely as possible. He died for all and he wants to be known by all...If Christ did not prevent them from hearing his words, I will not prevent them from reading his books."
"Is it impossible to be united to the Trinity without being capable of explaining the distinction between the Father and the Son or between the Spirit and the other two persons? What matters, that to which we have to apply all our energies, is to purge our soul of passions: envy, hatred, pride, greed, concupiscense. Unless I have a pure heart, I shall never see God. Unless I forgive my brother, God will not forgive me...We shall never be damned for not knowing whether the principle of the Holy Spirit is single or double; but we shall not escape damnation unless we try to possess the fruits of the Spirit...Nowadays appeal is made to an ecumenical council to decide on many problems; but we would do much better to postpone them until the day when we see God face to face...By force and by fear we are trying to make people believe things that they do not believe, to make them love what they do not love, and to compel them to understand what they do not understand. Constraint cannot bring people together in sincerity; and Christ only accepts the voluntary gift of our souls."
I really, really like this guy.
I read of political powers who controlled the church and the religious leaders who allowed them to. I read of religious leaders who purchased their positions, who encouraged the slaughter of innocents and so-called heretics. Then comes Erasmus.
"Christ desires his philosophy to be spread as widely as possible. He died for all and he wants to be known by all...If Christ did not prevent them from hearing his words, I will not prevent them from reading his books."
"Is it impossible to be united to the Trinity without being capable of explaining the distinction between the Father and the Son or between the Spirit and the other two persons? What matters, that to which we have to apply all our energies, is to purge our soul of passions: envy, hatred, pride, greed, concupiscense. Unless I have a pure heart, I shall never see God. Unless I forgive my brother, God will not forgive me...We shall never be damned for not knowing whether the principle of the Holy Spirit is single or double; but we shall not escape damnation unless we try to possess the fruits of the Spirit...Nowadays appeal is made to an ecumenical council to decide on many problems; but we would do much better to postpone them until the day when we see God face to face...By force and by fear we are trying to make people believe things that they do not believe, to make them love what they do not love, and to compel them to understand what they do not understand. Constraint cannot bring people together in sincerity; and Christ only accepts the voluntary gift of our souls."
I really, really like this guy.
Sunday, December 04, 2005
I'm too old for this
How do you know when enough is enough? When is it time to go and how do you go when you have responsibility? Do you just pick up and leave a church because you don't like what it has become? Because you don't feel there is a place for you? Or rather, a place for what you want to be? Is it selfish and irresponsible to leave for greener pastures instead of working to help the church you're at become what God wants it to be? What is it....if you can't handle what God has given you, why think God would give you more?
And...how do you know if the pull toward certain things is actually a "calling" or your own unconscience, underlying desire for control or attention?
And...why, at 46 years of age, am I going through this? Isn't this something that young people go through when they graduate from High School? College? When lives are going through all kinds of natural changes?
UGH
And...how do you know if the pull toward certain things is actually a "calling" or your own unconscience, underlying desire for control or attention?
And...why, at 46 years of age, am I going through this? Isn't this something that young people go through when they graduate from High School? College? When lives are going through all kinds of natural changes?
UGH
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Crazy
“I know this will sound crazy, but…”
Ever say that? I did this morning.
I dreamt last night that I was in a house with several friends and family members when the phone rang. Odd, I am the only one who hears it. “Hello?” “Karen, it’s Virginia! I’ve fallen and hurt my hip! I can’t get up! I need help!” “Where are you?” “At home!” “We’ll be right there.” I go tell everyone that Virginia has fallen and needs help. Nobody listens. I tell them again, a little louder, “Virginia is hurt! She needs help!” Still no response from anyone. As I am currently in my pj’s (I am asleep in bed after all), I go get dressed – in my church clothes, dress, hose and hells, of course because Virginia is a dear lady from church – and run out the door. End of dream.
When I wake up and all through the morning, Virginia is on my mind. I try to push the remnants of the dream aside and get to my housework. Nothing works though. I end up picking up the phone and calling Virginia.
“Virginia? This is Karen Cassell. I know this will sound crazy, but I had a dream last night that you weren’t well and I had to call and check on you.”
(Laughing)”I’m ok this morning, Karen. I did fall yesterday. I was raking leaves and my foot slipped off of the pavement. I had a great big knot on my hip and knew I would be really sore this morning, but it’s not as bad as I thought.”
Some people would say that I am psychic. Some would say I had Virginia on my mind when I went to bed. Some would say God spoke to me in my dreams. My husband would say I am crazy.
Way too often I brush aside those feelings, thoughts, images that fly around like gnats until you finally squash them. What is it that keeps me from doing those little things like calling someone when they are on my mind. Sending a card just to say, “Thinking of you.” Why do I worry about what others think? Why do I worry about sounding crazy? Maybe that worry, that inhibition is crazy!
Maybe I am crazy, but if doing crazy things like calling Virginia can bring a smile to others like I heard in her voice, “I am so glad you called, Karen! That was so sweet!”, then I will just go on being crazy.
Crazy, I'm crazy for feeling so lonely
I'm crazy, crazy for feeling so blue
I knew you'd love me as long as you wanted
And then someday you'd leave me for somebody new
Worry, why do I let myself worry?
Wond'ring what in the world did I do?
Crazy for thinking that my love could hold you
I'm crazy for trying and crazy for crying
And I'm crazy for loving you
Crazy for thinking that my love could hold you
I'm crazy for trying and crazy for crying
And I'm crazy for loving you.
Ever say that? I did this morning.
I dreamt last night that I was in a house with several friends and family members when the phone rang. Odd, I am the only one who hears it. “Hello?” “Karen, it’s Virginia! I’ve fallen and hurt my hip! I can’t get up! I need help!” “Where are you?” “At home!” “We’ll be right there.” I go tell everyone that Virginia has fallen and needs help. Nobody listens. I tell them again, a little louder, “Virginia is hurt! She needs help!” Still no response from anyone. As I am currently in my pj’s (I am asleep in bed after all), I go get dressed – in my church clothes, dress, hose and hells, of course because Virginia is a dear lady from church – and run out the door. End of dream.
When I wake up and all through the morning, Virginia is on my mind. I try to push the remnants of the dream aside and get to my housework. Nothing works though. I end up picking up the phone and calling Virginia.
“Virginia? This is Karen Cassell. I know this will sound crazy, but I had a dream last night that you weren’t well and I had to call and check on you.”
(Laughing)”I’m ok this morning, Karen. I did fall yesterday. I was raking leaves and my foot slipped off of the pavement. I had a great big knot on my hip and knew I would be really sore this morning, but it’s not as bad as I thought.”
Some people would say that I am psychic. Some would say I had Virginia on my mind when I went to bed. Some would say God spoke to me in my dreams. My husband would say I am crazy.
Way too often I brush aside those feelings, thoughts, images that fly around like gnats until you finally squash them. What is it that keeps me from doing those little things like calling someone when they are on my mind. Sending a card just to say, “Thinking of you.” Why do I worry about what others think? Why do I worry about sounding crazy? Maybe that worry, that inhibition is crazy!
Maybe I am crazy, but if doing crazy things like calling Virginia can bring a smile to others like I heard in her voice, “I am so glad you called, Karen! That was so sweet!”, then I will just go on being crazy.
Crazy, I'm crazy for feeling so lonely
I'm crazy, crazy for feeling so blue
I knew you'd love me as long as you wanted
And then someday you'd leave me for somebody new
Worry, why do I let myself worry?
Wond'ring what in the world did I do?
Crazy for thinking that my love could hold you
I'm crazy for trying and crazy for crying
And I'm crazy for loving you
Crazy for thinking that my love could hold you
I'm crazy for trying and crazy for crying
And I'm crazy for loving you.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Boldness
The preacher shared his surprise at finding out that even with all the churches in our area, there are still many people who are "un-churched." "Doesn't that surprise you?" he asked. I sat there shaking my head both as answer to his question, but also because I couldn't believe he was so naive. The man is somewhere in his latter 70's. He is an educated minister having served several different congregations from various parts of the country. He has served on national committees for the denomination. Could he really believe that the majority of the people he meets throughout our area are Christian? Does he really think that the number of churches has anything to do with the spreading of the Gospel?
The setting was a Sunday School class consisting of maybe 3/4 of the active members of our congregation. The average age - probably at least 70. The lesson is based on Acts 4, the discussion centers on the boldness of the disciples - even though they were threatened, they continue to preach the Gospel of Jesus. The teacher asks, "Who in this room considers themselves to be bold when it comes to talking about the church?" Two people raise their hands. One a man considered to be a radical in the church, a physician who puts literal translations of scripture to test with his scientific knowledge. The other a man who is fairly new to the Christian faith. A woman comments, "Maybe it has something to do with the way we were raised. Back then, you just didn't do those things."
I sat there with these people who have helped me to become the person I am today; who have played a major part in my growth as a Christian. These people who have been to me the only "church family" I have ever really known. I hear them discuss "talking about the church," and I see them struggle. These faithful people who know that there is more that they should be doing and are encumbered with the weight of their physical limitations as well as a hesitancy to speak that has been etched into their beings. I share with the class that there is a group of young people who are coming into leadership within the church who are not hesitant to speak, who have no problem sharing their beliefs with others. I also tell them that the boldness of these young people has at times led me to try to instruct them in the ways of tact and respect for others, (Ah, yes, those brash young people!) Then, I tell them, that what really happens is that those young people instruct me. They remind me that tact and respect should never interfere with sharing the truth.
The preacher sits, smiles and nods. I am a southern woman, so I think to myself, "He is so clueless, bless his heart."
The setting was a Sunday School class consisting of maybe 3/4 of the active members of our congregation. The average age - probably at least 70. The lesson is based on Acts 4, the discussion centers on the boldness of the disciples - even though they were threatened, they continue to preach the Gospel of Jesus. The teacher asks, "Who in this room considers themselves to be bold when it comes to talking about the church?" Two people raise their hands. One a man considered to be a radical in the church, a physician who puts literal translations of scripture to test with his scientific knowledge. The other a man who is fairly new to the Christian faith. A woman comments, "Maybe it has something to do with the way we were raised. Back then, you just didn't do those things."
I sat there with these people who have helped me to become the person I am today; who have played a major part in my growth as a Christian. These people who have been to me the only "church family" I have ever really known. I hear them discuss "talking about the church," and I see them struggle. These faithful people who know that there is more that they should be doing and are encumbered with the weight of their physical limitations as well as a hesitancy to speak that has been etched into their beings. I share with the class that there is a group of young people who are coming into leadership within the church who are not hesitant to speak, who have no problem sharing their beliefs with others. I also tell them that the boldness of these young people has at times led me to try to instruct them in the ways of tact and respect for others, (Ah, yes, those brash young people!) Then, I tell them, that what really happens is that those young people instruct me. They remind me that tact and respect should never interfere with sharing the truth.
The preacher sits, smiles and nods. I am a southern woman, so I think to myself, "He is so clueless, bless his heart."
Monday, September 26, 2005
Breathe
ANNA NALICK - Breathe (2 AM)
2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
Can you help me unravel my latest mistake,
I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites, you're all here for the very same reason'
Cause you can't jump the track,we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button girl,
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe, just breathe,
Woah breathe, just breathe
May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
Just a day, he sat down to the flask in his fist,
Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year.
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But my God it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him, maybe I'll just sing about it.
Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe, just breathe,
Woah breathe, just breathe
There's a light at each end of this tunnel, you shout
'Cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
These mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.
2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, its no longer
Inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to
Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
and life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
And breathe, just breathe
Woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.
2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
Can you help me unravel my latest mistake,
I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites, you're all here for the very same reason'
Cause you can't jump the track,we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button girl,
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe, just breathe,
Woah breathe, just breathe
May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
Just a day, he sat down to the flask in his fist,
Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year.
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But my God it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him, maybe I'll just sing about it.
Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe, just breathe,
Woah breathe, just breathe
There's a light at each end of this tunnel, you shout
'Cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
These mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.
2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, its no longer
Inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to
Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
and life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
And breathe, just breathe
Woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.
Friday, September 16, 2005
B & Leah
On August 22, 1982 Rob and my doctor, Dr. Thomas Winn, helped me to bring into this world a fuzzy headed little girl. On this day 19 years ago, Rob and Dr. Leon Jennings helped me deliver a little girl with a head full of wild looking dark hair. I thought on those days that my love for them could never be greater. I was wrong.
I am a mother. Thank you God.
I am a mother. Thank you God.
Keep looking
"I guess we all have to have some sickness in our lives."
This is from Rob during a conversation about his mom, Joanne, or "JoJo" as we call her. JoJo is in the hospital right now suffering from a bout of intestinal upheaval. They haven't decided what the root of the problem is, but they are still looking.
I had a discussion (I use this term very loosely) with my mother yesterday about politics, morality, sin and God's favor on the United States of America. It seems that we have a difference of opinion on what keeps this country from not having the full "favor" of God (and, what that "favor" is for that matter!) It could be either the fact that abortion is legal and that until we stop killing our children, it will never happen, or, it could be the fact that this country and its government are made up of people with natures that, for the most part, put themselves, their ideas and beliefs first. It seems that we haven't decided what the root of the problem is, but we are still looking.
Dana Beth's car is about to drive us crazy. It has been in the shop 4 times now and it still has the same problem. Rob and I both agreed last night that we are glad we didn't make her drive it back to Atlanta. Shifting gears hard enough to shake the occupants of the car, radio and a/c kicking in and out, dash lights flashing like the inside of a disco. Is it the alternator? Is it the electrical system? Is it possessed? They haven't decided what the root of the problem is, but they are still looking.
This seems a little random, human suffering, state of the nation, car trouble. However, they all bring me back to the same place, "they are still looking."
This is from Rob during a conversation about his mom, Joanne, or "JoJo" as we call her. JoJo is in the hospital right now suffering from a bout of intestinal upheaval. They haven't decided what the root of the problem is, but they are still looking.
I had a discussion (I use this term very loosely) with my mother yesterday about politics, morality, sin and God's favor on the United States of America. It seems that we have a difference of opinion on what keeps this country from not having the full "favor" of God (and, what that "favor" is for that matter!) It could be either the fact that abortion is legal and that until we stop killing our children, it will never happen, or, it could be the fact that this country and its government are made up of people with natures that, for the most part, put themselves, their ideas and beliefs first. It seems that we haven't decided what the root of the problem is, but we are still looking.
Dana Beth's car is about to drive us crazy. It has been in the shop 4 times now and it still has the same problem. Rob and I both agreed last night that we are glad we didn't make her drive it back to Atlanta. Shifting gears hard enough to shake the occupants of the car, radio and a/c kicking in and out, dash lights flashing like the inside of a disco. Is it the alternator? Is it the electrical system? Is it possessed? They haven't decided what the root of the problem is, but they are still looking.
This seems a little random, human suffering, state of the nation, car trouble. However, they all bring me back to the same place, "they are still looking."
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Cup of life
It has been a while, I know. My cup of life has been filled to overflowing with work, class, building, moving, pain. Admittedly, I only work 4-5 hours a day, 4 days/week, so the time I spend there really doesn't add a whole lot into the content, but the job does add. When I was in need of a new job, this one came around and it was great. The hours fit my schedule to a T. It provided me the opportunity to help with the financial income of our family and gave me the time I wanted/needed to be with Leah while she was still in school. I was able to volunteer with the band and be home when she got home. (Even though she was in high school, I still wanted to be there!) Now that she has moved on to college, I am not needed at home, but I still have the same hours. It is ok though, I have those hours to do cleaning, errands, whatever is needed. The hours, except for the small amount of cash they bring in, are not especially a problem either. The thing is, I have noticed a lack of attention in my boss. I have a lot of trouble with his understanding what I am talking about and I believe it is just because he can focus on what I am saying. Of course, as several members of my family would say, it could be the way I say things that is the problem.
I am currently in a class on evangelism that is a requirement of a certificate reading program through my church's district. In the past, the class has ranged in focus depending upon the instructor. Mission, evangelism and witness are the three most commonly used terms for the instructor's individual focus for the class. Anyway, I began the class reading a book written by a leader of a "mega" church and published by a company that provides material that I don't always agree with. That did not get me off to a great start. The first assignment of the class is to develop an evangelism "project." We are supposed to design and implement a evangelism exercise and evaluate it at the end of the class. I have a problem with that. Sure, I can go to a rest stop on the interstate and hand out bottles of water and say, "This is something Jesus would do." But how do I evaluate that? Do I give the number of bottles I gave out? The number of persons who refused bottles? The number of persons who fell on their knees and asked Jesus into their hearts? I did miss the class Sunday due to a funeral, so maybe they discussed these questions then. I need to get a copy of the tape.
We are in the process of building a new home. Something that we wanted to do since we got married. I think it was because we wanted things done the way we wanted them to be done. Whatever. I guess in some ways things are the way we want them, I mean, we do get to pick out the colors, the type of flooring, for the most part, the floor plan and that is fun. But there are some things that I wish we could do differently. I would have really liked the builders to use recycled or "green" materials. I would have maybe liked to go antique shopping and find some reusable lights, maybe a mantle for the fireplace, maybe stained glass widows. I would have liked to be absolutely sure that the doors would be wide enough for either Rob or I to go through in a wheelchair. I would have liked for there to be NO lip on the shower so we could get a wheelie seat in (it was SO, SO hard to get Daddy in and out of the shower!) I would have liked for Rob to be able to use those really old glass blocks he got from Granny's house somewhere in the building process, like one of the bathroom windows or something. I don't know, maybe I am just being too picky. Maybe I am just being selfish. Whatever, it is going to be a nice house. A one-floor house that will be SOOOO much easier to get around in. A brick house without the noise of the wind blowing through the siding. A HOUSE WITH A PORCH TO PUT A SWING AND ROCKING CHAIRS ON!!! It is going to be a house that we can live in and be safe, and I guess right now that is all I should really care about.
Getting to the above-mentioned house has been a real experience. Since we decided to go ahead and build, we have been cleaning out, throwing away, giving away and storing away all our "stuff." It is so amazing to me the amount of "stuff" we can accumulate in 25 years! I feel as if I have gotten rid of so much and yet, there is so much left! I really don't feel that I "need" all this stuff, but I don't want to get rid of it. I want my girls to be able to have the quilts their grandmothers and great grandmothers made. I want them to be able to have some of the furniture pieces that have been handed down since their great-great grandparents made them. I want to have all the resources I have been collecting for youth ministry, preaching, devotion writing should (when?) I need them. I like to be creative and like to have materials available to me when I get the urge to be creative. Where does it end?
Moving has also become a 2 time event. Our old house is sold and the new one is not done, so we have had to move into a rental home that the builder owns. It is a huge old house. It is a cool house, lots of rooms, hardwood floors, wide trim work. The kind of house I would have liked to buy when we got married and fixed up. The only thing about it is the previous occupant. There has been a mouse living in the kitchen somewhere. I have had to wash the silverware, utensils and pots and pans and move them out of the cabinets due to mouse droppings all over them. I have even had to throw away our toaster because the little critter found some tasty snacks in the bottom of it and left a calling card to let us know. We set some traps - for my comfort level, one of them was a "humane" trap, and finally caught a mouse Tuesday night. Hopefully, that was the only one living within the walls and I can feel safe using the stove and oven, a site also visited by the little critter, and put the stuff back in the drawers and cabinets.
As for the pain, well, I am hoping that there will soon be an end to it. I have a herniated disc that causes pain down my right leg. This has been going on since the middle of January and, actually, I am getting a little tired of it. The surgeon I was referred to is a conservative physician and doesn't want to cut me open if another method of treatment will take care of the pain. The problem is, so far, no other treatment has worked. This is a little stressful in and of itself, but there is also the problem of not being able to do the things I want or need to do because of aggravating the problem or making it worse. Rob has basically done all of this moving stiff by himself. On top of that, he has taken care of the normal house work. I feel so guilty about that and so sorry for him. I want to take walks, to hike with my friends, to just be able to walk through the grocery store without pain, but no. Well, as I said, I am hoping there will soon be an end to this disc problem.
Now that I have spent all this time and space on my personal gripes and troubles, on my overflowing cup of life, I feel the need to ask for forgiveness. I see all those in the southern portion of our country who have lost everything they had, some including the people in their lives whose cups seem totally empty; I see those in Iraq suffering through this travesty of war whose cups seem filled with violence and hate, and I know that I am blessed. I have so much and there are so many who don't even have what they need to survive. I pray that I will be shown a way to share what I have with them. I pray that I will be satisfied with my cup, with what I have, even better, with what I need.
For me, for them, for you, I pray that through the mercy of God, we will find peace.
I am currently in a class on evangelism that is a requirement of a certificate reading program through my church's district. In the past, the class has ranged in focus depending upon the instructor. Mission, evangelism and witness are the three most commonly used terms for the instructor's individual focus for the class. Anyway, I began the class reading a book written by a leader of a "mega" church and published by a company that provides material that I don't always agree with. That did not get me off to a great start. The first assignment of the class is to develop an evangelism "project." We are supposed to design and implement a evangelism exercise and evaluate it at the end of the class. I have a problem with that. Sure, I can go to a rest stop on the interstate and hand out bottles of water and say, "This is something Jesus would do." But how do I evaluate that? Do I give the number of bottles I gave out? The number of persons who refused bottles? The number of persons who fell on their knees and asked Jesus into their hearts? I did miss the class Sunday due to a funeral, so maybe they discussed these questions then. I need to get a copy of the tape.
We are in the process of building a new home. Something that we wanted to do since we got married. I think it was because we wanted things done the way we wanted them to be done. Whatever. I guess in some ways things are the way we want them, I mean, we do get to pick out the colors, the type of flooring, for the most part, the floor plan and that is fun. But there are some things that I wish we could do differently. I would have really liked the builders to use recycled or "green" materials. I would have maybe liked to go antique shopping and find some reusable lights, maybe a mantle for the fireplace, maybe stained glass widows. I would have liked to be absolutely sure that the doors would be wide enough for either Rob or I to go through in a wheelchair. I would have liked for there to be NO lip on the shower so we could get a wheelie seat in (it was SO, SO hard to get Daddy in and out of the shower!) I would have liked for Rob to be able to use those really old glass blocks he got from Granny's house somewhere in the building process, like one of the bathroom windows or something. I don't know, maybe I am just being too picky. Maybe I am just being selfish. Whatever, it is going to be a nice house. A one-floor house that will be SOOOO much easier to get around in. A brick house without the noise of the wind blowing through the siding. A HOUSE WITH A PORCH TO PUT A SWING AND ROCKING CHAIRS ON!!! It is going to be a house that we can live in and be safe, and I guess right now that is all I should really care about.
Getting to the above-mentioned house has been a real experience. Since we decided to go ahead and build, we have been cleaning out, throwing away, giving away and storing away all our "stuff." It is so amazing to me the amount of "stuff" we can accumulate in 25 years! I feel as if I have gotten rid of so much and yet, there is so much left! I really don't feel that I "need" all this stuff, but I don't want to get rid of it. I want my girls to be able to have the quilts their grandmothers and great grandmothers made. I want them to be able to have some of the furniture pieces that have been handed down since their great-great grandparents made them. I want to have all the resources I have been collecting for youth ministry, preaching, devotion writing should (when?) I need them. I like to be creative and like to have materials available to me when I get the urge to be creative. Where does it end?
Moving has also become a 2 time event. Our old house is sold and the new one is not done, so we have had to move into a rental home that the builder owns. It is a huge old house. It is a cool house, lots of rooms, hardwood floors, wide trim work. The kind of house I would have liked to buy when we got married and fixed up. The only thing about it is the previous occupant. There has been a mouse living in the kitchen somewhere. I have had to wash the silverware, utensils and pots and pans and move them out of the cabinets due to mouse droppings all over them. I have even had to throw away our toaster because the little critter found some tasty snacks in the bottom of it and left a calling card to let us know. We set some traps - for my comfort level, one of them was a "humane" trap, and finally caught a mouse Tuesday night. Hopefully, that was the only one living within the walls and I can feel safe using the stove and oven, a site also visited by the little critter, and put the stuff back in the drawers and cabinets.
As for the pain, well, I am hoping that there will soon be an end to it. I have a herniated disc that causes pain down my right leg. This has been going on since the middle of January and, actually, I am getting a little tired of it. The surgeon I was referred to is a conservative physician and doesn't want to cut me open if another method of treatment will take care of the pain. The problem is, so far, no other treatment has worked. This is a little stressful in and of itself, but there is also the problem of not being able to do the things I want or need to do because of aggravating the problem or making it worse. Rob has basically done all of this moving stiff by himself. On top of that, he has taken care of the normal house work. I feel so guilty about that and so sorry for him. I want to take walks, to hike with my friends, to just be able to walk through the grocery store without pain, but no. Well, as I said, I am hoping there will soon be an end to this disc problem.
Now that I have spent all this time and space on my personal gripes and troubles, on my overflowing cup of life, I feel the need to ask for forgiveness. I see all those in the southern portion of our country who have lost everything they had, some including the people in their lives whose cups seem totally empty; I see those in Iraq suffering through this travesty of war whose cups seem filled with violence and hate, and I know that I am blessed. I have so much and there are so many who don't even have what they need to survive. I pray that I will be shown a way to share what I have with them. I pray that I will be satisfied with my cup, with what I have, even better, with what I need.
For me, for them, for you, I pray that through the mercy of God, we will find peace.
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Preaching
Well, I tried to post this earlier and lost the internet connection, so here I go again.
I have read that St. Francis of Assisi said, "Preach the gospel everyday and if necessary, use words." I find myself wondering if Francis thought words made presenting the gospel easier. I don't.
My daughter has been teaching refugees english, math and life skills to help them integrate into the world of Atlanta and the United States. Part of the life skills class curriculum teaches them to look their supervisors in the eye when talking to them to let the supervisor know they are listening. In the culture they come from, looking a superior in the eye is a form of disrespect and they told B that they could not do that. My daughter did not feel she could continue teaching this because it was making the kids ignore who they were, where they had come from. Some refugee teens had said that after being here for a while, they felt as if they had lost their "soul" because they could not BE themselves and live out their cultural experience here in the states. B did not want to add to this undoing of these kids. She had respect for them and their culture.
It is so easy for us to take into account who people are, their culture and background, when they come from another country. It is even easy to take into consideration the fact that someone may be very young and may not have had the life experiences or education we have had.
It can be very difficult, however, to accept the fact that someone who is older than us, someone who seemingly lives the same life we have lived, may come from a different "place." We expect people who live in America, who eat what we eat, who talk like we do, who attend the same church we do, who have been around longer than we have to be able to understand things we say just because.
What we forget is that people who grew up say 50 years or more ago, grew up with a different perspective than those of us who were born more recently. Life experiences and the attitudes and teachings of those around us have a great influence on our own beliefs and priorities. Living and learning with people who lived and learned themselves from a different age has a major effect on our thought and belief processes.
Scripture shows that Jesus taught and preached through parables using examples from things that those listening could relate to. He spoke in terms of where the people were, not necessarily where he was. This is how people understand the messages we are to preach and teach. It does no good to use examples from quantum physics as examples when talking to me because I would have absolutely no idea what you were talking about. If, however, you spoke in terms of radiology, child rearing, maybe even insurance (on a very limited level), then I could relate and what you were saying would actually mean something to me.
Jesus respected the people he taught and it showed through his speaking. Yes, his messages may have been very difficult for them to swallow, but at least they understood and could relate.
If B can respect the refugee teens and understand that their cultural experience is a valid thing to be taken into consideration when speaking to them, then why do we find it so hard to do the same with people we know and love? No one is the same, no one comes from the same place, has the same life experience, education or beliefs. It makes no difference what the message is or how evident it may seem to you or I. If we don't take into consideration the person we are talking to, the message won't get across and can ultimately make that person feel demeaned, condemed or less of a person.
I am not sure if any of this makes much sense, but I guess that is what a blog is for - just to get things out. If you are reading this, I hope that you take into consideration that these words are mine and come from my life experiences and the culture I was raised in and the culture I currently live in. I hope that you will not reject them as the rantings of an uneducated mother of 2, but instead, let them provoke you to think and hopefully be more considerate of others when you preach and teach.
Peace.
I have read that St. Francis of Assisi said, "Preach the gospel everyday and if necessary, use words." I find myself wondering if Francis thought words made presenting the gospel easier. I don't.
My daughter has been teaching refugees english, math and life skills to help them integrate into the world of Atlanta and the United States. Part of the life skills class curriculum teaches them to look their supervisors in the eye when talking to them to let the supervisor know they are listening. In the culture they come from, looking a superior in the eye is a form of disrespect and they told B that they could not do that. My daughter did not feel she could continue teaching this because it was making the kids ignore who they were, where they had come from. Some refugee teens had said that after being here for a while, they felt as if they had lost their "soul" because they could not BE themselves and live out their cultural experience here in the states. B did not want to add to this undoing of these kids. She had respect for them and their culture.
It is so easy for us to take into account who people are, their culture and background, when they come from another country. It is even easy to take into consideration the fact that someone may be very young and may not have had the life experiences or education we have had.
It can be very difficult, however, to accept the fact that someone who is older than us, someone who seemingly lives the same life we have lived, may come from a different "place." We expect people who live in America, who eat what we eat, who talk like we do, who attend the same church we do, who have been around longer than we have to be able to understand things we say just because.
What we forget is that people who grew up say 50 years or more ago, grew up with a different perspective than those of us who were born more recently. Life experiences and the attitudes and teachings of those around us have a great influence on our own beliefs and priorities. Living and learning with people who lived and learned themselves from a different age has a major effect on our thought and belief processes.
Scripture shows that Jesus taught and preached through parables using examples from things that those listening could relate to. He spoke in terms of where the people were, not necessarily where he was. This is how people understand the messages we are to preach and teach. It does no good to use examples from quantum physics as examples when talking to me because I would have absolutely no idea what you were talking about. If, however, you spoke in terms of radiology, child rearing, maybe even insurance (on a very limited level), then I could relate and what you were saying would actually mean something to me.
Jesus respected the people he taught and it showed through his speaking. Yes, his messages may have been very difficult for them to swallow, but at least they understood and could relate.
If B can respect the refugee teens and understand that their cultural experience is a valid thing to be taken into consideration when speaking to them, then why do we find it so hard to do the same with people we know and love? No one is the same, no one comes from the same place, has the same life experience, education or beliefs. It makes no difference what the message is or how evident it may seem to you or I. If we don't take into consideration the person we are talking to, the message won't get across and can ultimately make that person feel demeaned, condemed or less of a person.
I am not sure if any of this makes much sense, but I guess that is what a blog is for - just to get things out. If you are reading this, I hope that you take into consideration that these words are mine and come from my life experiences and the culture I was raised in and the culture I currently live in. I hope that you will not reject them as the rantings of an uneducated mother of 2, but instead, let them provoke you to think and hopefully be more considerate of others when you preach and teach.
Peace.
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