This day

a clean desk, newly painted walls and lovely artwork to put on them, being able to hear the Daddy song and not cry, doves being released in remembrance of a life lived into a clear, crisp winter sky, welcoming new and old friends into my home

Just a few "of my favorite things"

Once again, I am playing "catch-up"...

good friends, "hip" aunts, medical advancements, worship planning, understanding and supportive family and congregations, Dr. Pepper, clean sofa covers and pillows, seeing "you rock!" on my office door, class-mates who share, tires that do not blow, cats and dogs that simply lay their heads on your leg as if to say, "It's ok, I still love you," Christmas cookies, beach weddings, sunshine, generosity, hearts and hands that serve, intercoms that work, secure Internet, yarn on sale (not just "for" sale, rob), quiet, communication

Today's Song

I have traveled many moonless nights,
Cold and weary with a babe inside,
And I wonder what I've done.
Holy father you have come,
And chosen me now to carry your son.

I am waiting in a silent prayer.
I am frightened by the load I bear.
In a world as cold as stone,
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now.
Be with me now.

Breath of heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness,
For you are holy.
Breath of heaven.

Do you wonder as you watch my face,
If a wiser one should have had my place,
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of your plan.
Help me be strong.
Help me be.
Help me.

Breath of heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness,
For you are holy.

Breath of heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness,
For you are holy.
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven.

memories of daddy

being drug by the sled all the way down the hill because you were afraid to let me go by myself
coming to watch me cheer
teaching me how to throw a football
taking me to work and letting me draw on the maps with the grease pencil
challenging me to ride the "big bike"
getting center court tickets for the Globetrotters
letting me wash the top of the truck
taking me with you on errands in that truck
not yelling when i wrecked "polly" twice or when i ran that red light while you were watching
rocking me until you thought i was asleep then carrying me to bed
sitting on the floor of my bedroom with me and convincing me not to run away from home
kissing me at my wedding
knowing that i was one of your "girls"
sharing birthday cakes
visiting your old buddies in Ky and you calling me your "baby"
when you told me your deepest and darkest moments
taking me to the hospital while i held a steak on my eye
and many, many more

happy birthday daddy, i miss you and love you

Oh, for a nice boring day

Michael (jokingly): "Some people live from one disaster to another. That's you!"

Yesterday was most definitely an eventful day and not one I want to repeat. Now that the sun is up and the birds are singing a new day, I can look at the events from a new perspective.

finding that there are times when emergency rooms are not cram-packed full in Salem
VA nurses, doctors and other medical staff who can be kind, gentle and understanding after having worked a full shift already
clear CT scans
experiencing Michael's belief that "drugs are our friends"
compassionate and dedicated pastors
the sound of laughter, prayer and I love you's from hospice staff
family who trusts you
experiencing the kindness and compassion of strangers - even those affected by your own negligence
airbags that do not work (yes, that's right, I said "do not")
people who seem to know what you need - those that know you and those that do not
gentle police officers
a husband who can be calm and friendly to others while I am a complete mess
a daughter who says, "I haven't driven that car in over a year, Mom. Isn't that the rule you use for getting rid of things anyway?"
friends who can sit and listen, talk and laugh and just make me smile once again

OMG

A post from a fellow Bethany student concerning his current ministry:

"if i stay, will i go insane the next time i see an "i'm glad i'm white" bumper sticker?"

Blest be the tie that binds

Today I learned that spiritual disciplines, alone and with others, are always a good thing. Examination. Servanthood. Agape. Communion. Fellowship. Prayer. Meditation.

Love Feast "reminds me of who I am." (SB)

walks with Rob, sitting in the courtyard with JC, Guy's earnest desire, Michael's southern gentleman ways of speaking his mind, seeing love in the eyes of those I have also come to love, words of assurance, Sue's gentle way of bringing me back to reality, Dava's, "I know exactly what you mean, Sister!" looks, realizing that I still need Wendy's on Sunday, hearing others voice appreciation and that needs are being met through those terrible "different ways"

(note to self: quite a long list for such an "irritating" day, huh?)

Today's Song

From the day we arrive on the planet

And blinking, step into the sun

There's more to be seen than can ever be seen

More to do than can ever be done

Some say eat or be eaten

Some say live and let live

But all are agreed as they join the stampede

You should never take more than you give

In the circle of life

It's the wheel of fortune

It's the leap of faith

It's the band of hope

Till we find our place

On the path unwinding

In the circle, the circle of life

Some of us fall by the wayside

And some of us soar to the stars

And some of us sail through our troubles

And some have to live with the scars

There's far too much to take in here

More to find than can ever be found

But the sun rolling high through the sapphire sky

Keeps great and small on the endless round

Elton John - Circle of Life

Touch

Last night I held a woman while she mourned over the death of her mother.
Today I held a woman as she celebrated the life growing within her.

Listen...What do you hear?

My last entry was a lament on the lack of communication skills within the human race. I found, however, that with some assistance, we can communicate! Saturday my congregation had an all-church planning retreat. With the use of Lectio Divina, we strived to discern a focus for the ministries of our community. I was very impressed and encouraged by the thoughts and feelings the scripture released in those present. Some voiced their opinion that it was the best planning retreat they could remember for this congregation.

Who knows, maybe if we allow the Spirit to guide us more often, that whole communication problem will fade away. I know I need to consider it.

That day about three thousand took him at his word, were baptized and were signed up. They committed themselves to the teaching of the apostles, the life together, the common meal, and the prayers. Everyone around was in awe—all those wonders and signs done through the apostles! And all the believers lived in a wonderful harmony, holding everything in common. They sold whatever they owned and pooled their resources so that each person's need was met. They followed a daily discipline of worship in the Temple followed by meals at home, every meal a celebration, exuberant and joyful, as they praised God. People in general liked what they saw. Every day their number grew as God added those who were saved.

Acts 2:42-47 (Message)

Blah, Blah, Blah

One of the most important aspects of participating in a community is the ability to communicate. Why is it then, that we are so lacking in that ability?

Fragmentation

Not for the first time I looked at the sand beneath my feet. Millions of tiny bits and pieces of shell making up the beach on which I walk. Fragments of lives that are either no more, or have moved on to "bigger and better."

These shell fragments always remind me of the fragments of our lives that we leave behind - whether we are no more, or like some of those sea creatures, have moved on. Wherever we go, whomever we interact with, we always leave bits and pieces of ourselves behind. Some of those bits are positive and some are negative. Some of those pieces are large and some, well, may be miniscule.

We don't think about that much. The fact that we always leave a bit of ourselves behind. I believe we do though, even in today's seemingly isolated society. Nor do we think about the bits and pieces of others who are no longer with us - unless, of course, they play a prominent role in our lives. Then, it seems as if we pick and choose between those bits - like shell hunting. We sometimes push aside those miniscule bits in our efforts to fine the best pieces to claim as our own - the biggest, the prettiest, the ones that seem to be the most whole.

What about those parts left behind that are not so pretty? Those that are not "whole?" They too are to be recognized and respected for what they are. If it were not for those miniscule sometimes obscure and not so pretty bits and pieces, we would not have that wonderful beach to walk on and enjoy.

Today's song

It has been a while...

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely
Sunshine almost always makes me high

If I had a day that I could give you
I'd give to you a day just like today
If I had a song that I could sing for you
I'd sing a song to make you feel this way

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely
Sunshine almost always makes me high

If I had a tale that I could tell you
I'd tell a tale sure to make you smile
If I had a wish that I could wish for you
I'd make a wish for sunshine all the while

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely
Sunshine almost always makes me high
Sunshine almost all the time makes me high
Sunshine almost always

God speed

20 years ago Karen Hutchins came into the Sunday School class I was teaching. "I'll make you a deal," she said. "The same deal I've made with Freddy's other teachers. If you don't believe anything he says about me, I won't believe anything he says about you."

Freddy was a very cute little boy who loved to talk, and talk, and talk. He was the apple of his grandfather's eye and recently the Most Eligible Bachelor in Roanoke.

My heart aches for this little one and those he leaves behind.

New River

Appalachian Morning

By the manner of their living?

Over 5000 are expected at this "family reunion." And, yes, that's what it seems like to me. Just like a family reunion, there are those kin folk you love to see, those you are surprised to see and some you really just try to not have to spend too much time with. And, just like a family reunion, there are memories shared, futures examined and beliefs considered.

One thing I have learned at both is that Rob is absolutely right..."Everybody's different."

Then again, being "different" is no excuse for rudeness, bossyness or condescention.

Then again, isn't being different what the Church of the Brethren is supposed to be known for?

If so, different from what? I always thought it was "different from the world," but at times, I really can't see much difference.

The body of Christ...

Home again after a few days in the land of kudzoo, coal trucks and double-wides. Funny how things turn around on you. After feeling that my entire description of life in the area where I was born depicted such a negative picture, I ended up, not explaining, not even defending, but trying to get others to accept it.

For evening devo's I decided to do my Bisquick communion. It would have been perfect too...if everyone hadn't been so gosh darn different! I gave each person a cup with a small amount of Bisquick in it and asked them to add a small amount of the liquid of their choice. I explained that the end result should be about the consistancy of cake batter. Too bad not everyone's image of cake batter is the same. Some were so thick they wouldn't pour out of the cup and others were pure liquid! Into the cake pan they all went, however, then into the oven. After a much longer time than expected, the mixture finally took on a somewhat brownish and spotty cake-like appearance. When dumped out onto a plate...well let's just say that it was not the perfect loaf of communion bread. Trying to break and serve this lump of oooey-gooey, half-baked stuff was a chore, but we did it.

After everyone had taken communion, it hit me! This was probably the worst tasting and worst looking communion bread they had ever had. Definitely not what some would consider "proper." It was a complete mess. But then, so is life. Our purpose was not to judge those we were there to serve. Our purpose was not to pry into the "stories." Instead, our purpose was to be in communion with God's children who needed our help at this specific time, in this specific place. We were not "Brethren to the Rescue!" We were brothers and sisters extending a hand to one another.

Are you really paying for the car in front of you too?

Thought I was going to get off easy today. Take fresh water to job sites, maybe help hang some drywall. But no. Pulling up floors, piling up old moldy, ratty insulation and pushing new insulation through a hole. That's what I got to do. Margaret, the lady who owned the house seemed quite upset when she saw all we were doing and how difficult it seemed. Another advisor, Sarah, told her, "Well, it has got to be done and we're here." Margaret was so appreciative. In the midst of the hauling, prybarring and sweating, the lovely lady offerred us some hot coffee. Instead, we headed to Wendy's for milkshakes, floats and Frosty's. That vanilla milkshake was one of the best ever! What was it that made it and the "breakfast for dinner" so delicious? I think it was satisfaction and exhaustion from a job well done.

It is not pronounced "holl-ow"

Here I am back in the hollers of Kentuck. They asked me to share a little about the area and my personal experience with it. I really didn't realize just how negative my thoughts were until I heard myself speak. During our introductions, Sharon asked us to share one expectation we had for the week. Without thinking, I said I wanted to come here and work with a different attitude. This morning, driving a group to their worksite, I could hear the birds singing everywhere. Driving down the road, sitting at the stoplights. Birds singing and sun shining over the misty mountain tops. The attitude is already changing.

Fun, fun fun!

Last week Rob and I went to Ohio to celebrate the wedding of Emily Beck. Helping with the many little things that go along with the ceremony and a 300 person reception was fun! After all, it really wasn't our responsibility, we just got to play with flowers, oranges, gold fish and eat some good food and see some great people.

This week I have spent each evening with 25 children ranging from 4 - 13 years old at VBS. Even with the responsibilities I had, it too was fun. Getting hugs from little boys and girls, watching small faces change from frowns to smiles at the mention of lemonade, seeing adults playing kickball and eating popsicles and enjoy being kids themselves again.

Next week? Well next week, I get to rest up from all of this fun! Then...well, we'll talk about that later.

Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow!

I never cease to be amazed at how small, seemingly unimportant things can make a day seem so much brighter! Praise God for creating minds that can figure out how to cut a canopy of leaves out of a $1 plastic tablecloth!

Whatsoever you do....

There's something wonderful about being able to offer respite to another. Something so comforting to me in the act of providing comfort for another. Knowing that one is safe, and able to rest comfortably in my home, to be provided for with the basic things that we often take for granted....a soft place to lay your head, drinkable water, fresh food, a shower.

"Karen, you can't take everyone home with you."

Maybe not. But I think I'd like to.

Welcome to the family Rebekka Elaine Larson!!

With brother Eric


With brother Alec


With sister Annika


Rebekka

I'm the mama

Fixing breakfast, surprise donations for VBS, free and easy AT hikers healing and resting in my home, being given "trail names" - Mama and Papa Cassell, The Homeplace biscuits and gravy

Me: "I'm really gonna try not to "mother" you too much."
Australian Just Mike: "That's ok, I miss being mothered somewhat."

Me: "Well, I guess I'll go to the office and try to do some "ministering."
John: "You've already done more than called for today. You're way ahead of the game."

Look out world, here she comes!

First Day of School

Last Day of School

Oh, the places she'll go!

Close your eyes and think of me

Spring, the way the bright green of the hillsides pop against the blue sky, random tufts of daffodils on the roadside, little waterfalls cascading down the mountain side from morning rains, the blue hazy mountains of home, mountain top views and valley communities, Deep Purple, Carol King and other classic rock groups, coming home after a long day to a dinner of flounder

Welcome to the family Esther Pearl Ferris!

Born March 22, 2008 8lb 14 oz

Brother Henry and Daddy (Paul David)


Mama (Mary)

Lord, help my unbelief

The devotion I read today had this statement, "...truth does not depend on my understanding..."

There is so much I try to understand, but don't...God loves me, flawed as I am. Jesus died for me. People love me even though their actions, and sometimes their words, seem to contradict it. Then on the opposite end of the scale...people go on mass killing sprees, abuse those without the power to protect themselves, violence seems to be the reaction of choice. Just to name a few.

These things are true, they just are. My understanding, or lack of understanding, does not change that. In a world that says, "prove it," faith can struggle.

Guide my feet, hold my hand, stand by me, I'm your child

Dana Belle: "Well Karen, you're installed now!"
Me: "Yep, just like an appliance."

So went an exchange between myself and a member of the congregation where I have been called to serve as the Assistant Pastor.

The role of a pastor, the meaning of ordination within the Church of the Brethren, the training for leadership in the church. These topics have been among the many I have discussed with Dana Beth and several of those young adults she has spent the past 3 years with. For me, however, in the past 5 months, they have become most significant, especially today during my "installation service." The comment I made to Dana Belle was a little sarcastic and said in jest, but then as I see what Webster has for a definition of the word "install," I'm not so sure I was that far off....

1 a: to place in an office or dignity by seating in a stall or official seat b: to induct into an office, rank, or order 2: to establish in an indicated place, condition, or status 3: to set up for use or service

Yep, there it is "to set up for use or service." That's me.

Hokies in Hooville

It has been a long time, I know. So long, in fact, that there are just way too many things to post. Here are just a few highlights:

praying with a young couple waiting for their infant daughter to go into surgery, nurses named Ruth and Naomi, waking up and being able to see and wiggle my toes - and NOT throwing up!
hearing that my surgery "went swimmingly", morphine, Sandra and her lavendar lotion
Trish and her red velvet cake, sleeping 2 hours and feeling like it was 8, feeling the prayers of so many, thing grabbers and butt wipers, wonderful, filling, healing vegetable soup (x3), 2 church families, baby boys, lunch with Sue, getting out of the house, Rob's singing, being wanted, accepted and missed

I went to the funeral home today. A lovely lady from Cloverdale who suffered from ALS for almost 2 years died yesterday. She was one of the first people I visited. I had heard some of her story from Glenn and felt that I should take her a prayer shawl when I visited, so I did - a baby blue half-granny square. Sheila loved it. She had many blankets and quilts she used over her legs, but none of them quite fit around her neck and that was where she got cold the most, she said. Every time she came to church, she had the shawl around her shoulders. Today, when I saw her, she still had the shawl. Johnny, her husband, said it has brought her such comfort that it was right that she still have it with her. Held within the arms of God both in this life and the next. How awesome is that?

Whatever happened to the hugabunch?

Once upon a time, I believed the best hugs in the world came from a loving man named Lefty Hoal. I still think Lefty's hugs were wonderful, but now I know that hugs just as wonderful can come from some of the most surprising places...

frail, aging men and women who hold you tight with all their strength
the bedridden friend who holds your hand and doesn't want to let go
the aging patriarch of the church who "confesses" he didn't want anyone to fill the position you now have
the young girl who is so full of love for everyone she seems to burst
the length of yarn woven into "arms of God" to surround me anytime I need a hug

Love, compassion, acceptance, comfort. All can be found in that simple but awesome thing, the hug.